I recently had a conversation with a newly married friend over a cup of coffee and I asked him how his two-month-old marriage was going thus far and how he was adjusting to married life. He replied that it was remarkable, with one major issue so far – his marriage brought about unprecedented insecurity for him.
Those who’ve been married longer than 45 minutes can probably resonate with this kind of sentiment. Marriage affords the proximity of our spouses to us which provides them insight even the closest of friends didn’t have before our marriages.
My wife doesn’t just hear about my failures, she sees them and many times feels them herself. When the false community of social-media and the blogosphere are convinced I spend every second in my bible or helping the poor, my wife sees me drown in my own wickedness—again.
She sees my inconsistency in reading the Word. She sees my propensity towards pride. She sees my ever-fluctuating prayer life. She sees my inability to believe God to come through on His promises. She sees it all.
Moreover, there’s a serious chance that the gravitational pull I feel towards disobedience has impacted her on a personal and negative level. After I was married my sin was bigger than just a personal problem. It largely became our problem.
Yet, it is in this terrifyingly dark insecurity where I feel my wife’s intimacy with my shortcoming that a uniquely powerful gospel opportunity is born. It is because of this intimacy she has with my wickedness that gives her the ability to speak the news of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus into my life unlike anyone else.
There is something uniquely powerful and assuring about hearing the words, “Jesus is for you, his blood covers you, and your shame and guilt are nothing to fear anymore.” Especially when it comes from someone who is intensely aware of my guilt and shame. It's not that hearing the gospel from others sources isn't powerful. It is, especially from those fellow members of my local Church.
However, there is a unique power behind the gospel when it comes from the lips of my love. When she speaks of Jesus’ atonement I know that he didn’t just atone for sin, he atoned for my sin. When she tells me of God’s eternal pleasure in me because of His eternal pleasure for His Son, I know she is speaking of my union with Christ. In the moments where I am prone to disbelieve my salvation, she is sure in it, and I can trust her. The gospel from my wife is frequently the warm blanket my troubled soul is looking for.
Spouses, speak the gospel to your other half. They need it.
Spouses, receive the gospel from your other half. You need it.