Digital Detox, Intentional Ignorance, and the Proximity Principle

By / Jan 18

For Christians to thrive in the modern era, there are two spiritual disciplines we must adopt: Digital Detox (fasting from screens) and Intentional Ignorance (fasting from information).

The rapid growth of digital technology has implications for our spiritual formation. The form of connectivity that comes with smartphones and watches is fundamentally new in human history; this isn’t necessarily good or bad, but it is certainly different. Thus, the countercultural spiritual disciplines that serve our growth ought to be different as well.

Spiritual formation and the purposeful means of formation (spiritual disciplines, habits, and practices) are always contextual; the dehumanizing forces of our idols express themselves differently in different cultures. Our culture is the first culture that is radically digital.

Deformative Power of Digitization

Being chronically connected to the internet tempts us to be “like God” in fresh and terrifying ways. We have never before been as tempted to pursue omnipresence and omniscience as we presently are.

When we have 5G internet in our pockets and on our wrists, we are networked into the entire developed world. We can instantaneously observe, communicate, and be interrupted by people on the other side of the planet who are on their phones more easily than our neighbors down the street who are grilling in their backyard or playing in their front yards.

We are more interrupted than ever; our interactions with our closest loved ones and neighbors are more vulnerable to being hijacked by the wants or needs of someone far away as our own attention spans have been truncated by our notification settings.

Information used to be a hot commodity; now it is ubiquitous. With “googling” as the new verb and “GPTing” something right around the corner, access to information is instant. Will we forget what not knowing something for more than 30 seconds feels like?

Omnipresence is one of the characteristics of God. When technology makes us hyper-present, not only can our nervous systems not handle it, but our close friends and loved ones go unloved because we are aloof, distracted, and preoccupied.

Omniscience is also one of the characteristics of God. God can handle knowing all things, we cannot. We are limited, bound, and local by virtue of being embodied. From simple trivia to current events, it is good for us to not know things.

Part of the reason we are so mentally unhealthy as a society is that we are flirting with omnipresence and omniscience. We know too much and know about it, so we are anxious and depressed.

The Power of the Proximity Principle

Jesus tells the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:30ff) in response to the question, “who is my neighbor?” In the story, a man is harmed on a road and in need of help. Later, two people travel on the same road, see the man, and then pass by him. But a Good Samaritan travels by where he is lying harmed, sees him, has compassion, and then acts.

The first two stand condemned not simply because they didn’t help, but because they were right there, up-close-in-the-flesh, and able to help, but still didn’t help.

The basic ethical principle here: proximity and ability create responsibility.

Many are plagued by a low-grade sense of chronic guilt and anxiety because our nervous systems are not designed to handle all of the information we have access to in our digital age. Young people, in particular, are plagued with over-responsibility that leads to paralysis and depression.

We end up functioning like the Levite and the Priest in Luke 10:31-32 who are unable or unwilling to love the people right in front of them because we are preoccupied with all of the information, problems, and suffering far away from us.

If we look through the lenses of proximity and ability, some of our info-induced anxiety will dissipate and we’ll have a clearer conscience as we love those who are in the “place” God has placed us (like the Good Samaritan).

Only God can handle omniscience (knowing everything) and omnipresence (being everywhere), and we should repent of our desire to be like God in this way.

The Christian tradition has long practiced the discipline of fasting. Most basically, fasting is depriving oneself of a good thing for the purposes of prayer and growth. Our new context requires two new forms of fasting: fasting from digital devices and fasting from information.

How to Practice Digital Detox

A digital detox is a fast from digital devices, especially your smartphone, smartwatch, or tablet. The digital detox helps us repent of omnipresence. It is a break from being tethered to your electrical umbilical cord and your dopamine pacifier. Here is what I try to make this look like for me:

  • Daily: When I walk in the door from work, I leave my phone on a shelf by the door for at least thirty minutes while I play with my kids and reconnect with my wife.
  • Daily: I dock my phone at a table on the other side of my bedroom a minimum of 40 minutes before I go to bed and don’t look at it for 20 minutes after I wake up (except to stop my alarm)
  • Weekly: A 12-hour Digital Detox that includes going to the park, going on a walk, or going to the gym without my phone.
  • Monthly: A 48-hour social media, email, and texting Digital Detox.
  • Twice Monthly: Leave my phone at home when I go on a date with my wife.
  • Annually: Once per year, a 3-day personal Spiritual Retreat that includes a Digital Detox among other forms of traditional fasting and prayer while I focus on being present to the Lord.
  • Annually: Once per year while on vacation, a 5-day total Digital Detox where my phone and computer are all the way off, and I focus on being present to my family.

How to Practice Intentional Ignorance

If it is true that ignorance is bliss, then that explains a lot of our current mental health crisis. The information we are asked to carry and steward is too much for our non-Divine minds.

Intentional Ignorance is the radically countercultural choice to embrace not knowing everything you could know. Here is what I try to make this look like for me:

  • Less Updates: I don’t watch Instagram or Facebook stories. I don’t want to know what people are up to all the time.
  • Less Breaking News: I unfollow almost all news accounts, especially those that do BREAKING NEWS.
  • Less Answered Questions: At least once per day, I let a question go unanswered. What is the actual difference in diameter between the NBA ball and the WNBA ball? I’m going to choose just not to get my phone out and Google that. What happened with that rocket in North Korea yesterday? I choose not to find out the answer to that. In doing so, I pray, “Lord, you are the Omniscient One; because I trust you and your approval I don’t need to know that.” The feeling of enduring ignorance is foreign to us but serves our formation.

Many of these practices are aspirational for me; too often I’m embarrassed at the unhealthy patterns of my own device use. I recommend these habits as someone who knows his own.

Humans are called to have dominion over creation, but too often our own creations have dominion over us. The dual practices of Digital Detox and Intentional Ignorance will help us right the balance of power that our devices have over us as we seek congruence with and fidelity to the Spirit of Christ.



Why the World Needs Augustinian Friendships

By / Jan 16

When you think of Augustine, you may picture a withdrawn theologian in a darkish study—deep in thought, putting pen to parchment, face bathed in dancing candlelight. Perhaps such a picture is not entirely unwarranted. It can be argued that no theologian has impacted Christianity more than the good bishop of Hippo. This no doubt required long hours in solitude.

But in his Confessions—the winding, autobiographical prayer written in the middle of his life—we see that Augustine very much thought of himself as a man formed by friendship. He even admits, “I cannot be happy without friends.” Therefore, to think of Augustine as he would want to be thought of, we shouldn’t imagine him as some lone-wolf in an ivory tower, but as a soul profoundly marked by his friends.

When it came to friendship, Augustine was originally influenced by the philosopher and statesman Cicero. In fact, he adopted Cicero’s definition of friendship as his own. “Friendship,” said Cicero, “is nothing other than agreement on all things divine and human, along with good will and affection.” This is how Augustine understood friendship before his conversion as well as in the early years after.

But as Augustine matured in faith, so did his definition of friendship. We see this in his correspondence with Martianus, a friend from his youth. Some time after writing Confessions, Augustine learned that Martianus had begun to embrace Christianity and was contemplating baptism. Augustine, though busy with study and writing, hastened to address this companion from his past, who he now rejoiced to hear was on the threshold of becoming his companion in the faith.

Though there had been genuine affection between Augustine and Martianus earlier in life, their relationship fell short of what Augustine had by this time come to understand as true friendship. In their coming of age, the two had agreed as far as Cicero’s definition of friendship was concerned. Their unregenerate hearts were unanimous in the pursuit of illicit interests. Augustine recounts this in Confessions.

Young Augustine spent his nights keeping company with a band of delinquents. Their antics included stealing fruit from a neighbor’s orchard. He did this, he admits, because at the time he delighted in evildoing. But years later, deeper questions still haunt him. From whence this delight in evildoing? Would Augustine have done the same had he been alone?

Looking back, he muses, “I would not have stolen alone; my pleasure was not in what I stole but that I stole.” With these words, Augustine is touching upon the gravitational pull of being with others in the act. He knew it was much more than the fruit that animated him. His hunger to belong extracted from his soul that which would have remained latent had he been isolated.

This is why, in his letter to Martianus, Augustine observes, “But you, my dearest friend, at one time agreed with me on things human, when I desired to enjoy them in the manner of the crowd, and you set your course to aid me to obtain those things, over which I now repent.” This is no blame-shift. Augustine is not avoiding responsibility for his sin. Rather this is his honest recognition about the nature of fraternity, even among those who look no further than Cicero. It is common grace that desires should form in the heart and be fleshed out in the presence of those called ‘friend,’ even when those desires tend toward wrong ends.

But for Augustine as Christian theologian, friendship required that agreement on things divine be reframed and refined in light of what he had come to believe. Common grace was not enough for his now-seasoned perspective. Thus in his letter to Martianus, he adds to Cicero’s definition, saying, “For now we have an agreement on things human and divine along with good will and love in Christ Jesus, our Lord, our truest peace.”

With this modified definition in mind, Augustine reasons there is only one basis upon which he and Martianus can ever call one another ‘friend’ in the greatest sense of the word. If love for the triune God be absent from our hearts, then our love for friends will in some way be corrupted and malformed by our sinful nature. This is why Augustine urges Martianus toward baptism. He wishes to gain him as a friend in Christ. It’s by a shared union with Jesus alone that the highest level of friendship can be experienced between two souls.

If you trace the development of Augustine’s life more broadly, this was his discernible trajectory. One author notes that “more than ten of his childhood friends became bishops. The bishops and theologians in North African ecclesiastical debates against the Donatists, Pelagians, and others resembled the roll call. . . .of Augustine and his classmates.” To the praise of His glorious grace, God transfigured a band of delinquents to become a house of friendship whose business it was to contend for the faith once for all delivered to the saints.

Augustine eventually formalized his desire for such a house as the Rule of Augustine, a longstanding monastic order in the Roman Catholic Church. Note well that it’s from this Rule that one German monk would emerge to spark a Reformation. Of course, adherents of that Reformation do not embrace monastic life. But we do belong to local churches where our lives have been graced by lasting friendships centered on Christ.

This is a means by which Christ continues to build his church from generation to generation. Just think: Luther is downstream from Augustine and his friends, and in Christ we are downstream from them all. Who might be downstream from us? What future graces will be borne out of the friendships that are quietly forming in our congregations today? Of course, this is not ours to know. Augustine would want us to bear in mind that the secret things belong to the Lord our God.

But what has been revealed to us is that the world needs Augustinian friendships. It needs churches that model through Word and Sacrament the true significance of agreeing on matters both human and divine along with the kind of good will and affection that are found in Christ and nowhere else. Such is the way God carries on His work of building a community of fraternal love where the baptized lock arms and travel toward heaven together. Reaching our destination by grace alone, we will gather with saints from every age, Augustine included, to exult in a love that cannot be surpassed—the love of our Redeemer who laid down His life for His friends.



Leaving Christianity: How an Old Man Helped Save My Faith

By / Jan 8

When I was in 10th grade, the Power Team came to my church.  They were a group of powerlifting Christians who went around from mega-church to mega-church, lifting weights and smashing bricks in order to bring “glory to Jesus.” I was excited to see them “perform/preach,” but I was mostly excited that my friends and I got to work out with the Power Team at Gold’s Gym one day between their nightly sessions. One of the members, Eddie “The Gripper” Dalcour, gave me some tips on which whey protein to drink after workouts. The highlight of the week came that night when Eddie “The Gripper” ripped not one but two phonebooks in half and everyone said, “Wow, how amazing!” Of course, the theme verse of the Power Team was Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

This world of white, suburban, prosperity-gospel-lite, Ronald-Reagan loving evangelicalism was the world I grew up in. I could do anything through Christ who gave me strength. I knew I could do anything because God knew the plans that He had for me and they were plans to prosper me and not to harm me; they were to give me a hope and a future. Besides, even if something bad did happen, I knew that God worked all things together for good for those who loved Him and for those who were called according to His purpose.

What I most wanted to do at that time was play college football for a big SEC school. My dad had played college football for Auburn University and he was my hero. I wanted to be just like him. He hadn’t just been a great athlete, either. He was a great dad, a great husband and a great man, and he was the pastor of our church.  The church had grown rapidly under his leadership, and it seemed like he had been able to do “all things through Christ.” He really didn’t have any weaknesses. So that is what I was going to do – I was going to be just like him. I was going to trust God, get tips from “The Gripper,” work hard, and I was confident that good things would happen and that, one day, I would be able to play college football in order to follow in my dad’s footsteps.

Between 10th and 11th grade, I got a lot faster, bigger, and stronger, and my dream of playing college football was beginning to become a reality. I played tight end on offense and middle linebacker on defense, and seven games into my junior season I was leading the whole city of Huntsville, Alabama in tackles. Schools from all over the country started calling and sending letters.  In the eighth game of the season, I was chasing down a running back on a regular pitch play. In the midst of the tackle, I tore my right ACL and some meniscus cartilage in that knee. It was a big blow, but I knew the Lord had good plans for me. My faith was strong, and I knew God was going to use this bad thing for good. I had surgery on that knee, repairing the ACL and cartilage, and I immediately got back to work. Only this time I was working even harder than I had before. Fortunately, there was enough game film and enough on the stat sheet to keep the recruiting buzz high. Letters poured in that spring and schools began inviting me to visit them during spring games and to attend their summer camps. My rehab was going great, and I was bigger and stronger than ever.  My dream of playing football in the SEC was becoming a reality.

But that May, another blow came. I was lifting weights one day and felt a strange sensation in my head, a “release” of pressure, as I was trying to push out one more rep. I asked my coach if you could tear an artery in your brain and he told me, “That’s called an aneurism and if that would have happened you would be dead.”

For the next few days I had a major headache but obviously wasn’t dead, so I just toughened up and went on with my life. Two days later, on a Friday, I was back in the weight room. After my first exercise, I blacked out and was overcome with pain from my head. After this, my coach told me to go home to see a doctor. That day, I went to my primary care doctor who immediately encouraged me to see a neurologist who did some tests and told me to come back on Monday for an MRI. I got a lot of rest that weekend and was really feeling better by Monday. I went in for the MRI, excited to get it done, finish up the day at school, and join my friends that afternoon for an end of school year pool party over at Katie Flynn’s house. As I was leaving the doctor’s office, they told me to come back later to get the results. This would make me a little late for the pool party, but I hoped it wouldn’t take too long.

When I went back to the doctor’s office, I learned that it wouldn’t be a short trip. The doctor had called both my parents and told us we had to go immediately to the hospital for one more test. The doctor saw something abnormal in the MRI. By this time ,I really was feeling fine – five days after the initial head pain – and I was a little annoyed that they were being so cautious. We went to Huntsville Hospital and, after a painstakingly long arteriogram, the doctors came out shaking their heads saying, “We can’t believe you walked in here today.”

They explained that I had a 2.5 inch tear in the basil artery of my brain. Arteries have two layers and, somehow, the interior layer of the artery had torn and the exterior layer was still intact. At first, I had no idea what this meant and my first question was, “When can I start training for football again?” One of the doctors told me that I would never play football again, and that he was worried I could have a full-blown aneurism or stroke. He told me I had to go on blood thinners immediately and that I couldn’t strain myself in any way. No walking faster than three miles per hour, no lifting more than ten pounds, and certainly no football.

Obviously, I was devastated. Those were the worst words I had ever heard, but I was a part of a loving community and somehow my faith was strong. I believed that “all things worked together for good” and I believed that “God had plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future.” My coaches, friends, and family members were incredibly supportive and kind to me during this season, and I persisted. I also learned a lot about prayer during this time as it seems like everyone I came in contact with that summer was praying for me.

Mine was such a rare case that the doctors didn’t really know what would happen, so the following September, I went back to the doctor to get another opinion to see if the tear had progressed. They did another arteriogram and this time, the doctors came out with huge smiles. My head was okay, there was no tear – whatever had happened was gone. I don’t know exactly what happened that summer, but I walked out of that doctor’s office believing that God had answered prayers and had given me a clean bill of health. I was going to be able to live a healthy and normal life.

Even though I was healthy, that injury ended my football dreams. All the schools that had been recruiting me stopped the recruiting process when they heard about my head injury and, because of the injury, I wasn’t able to finish the rehab on my knee. I was also in really bad shape. When you are used to eating 5,000 calories a day and suddenly stop all activity, it’s not a good combination. But I was grateful.

One dream had died, but I knew others would come.

In fact, the following spring, I was able to get back in shape, and I was thinking about walking on to play football at Auburn. My strength was back and my speed was slowly returning. But then, in a simple game of Ultimate Frisbee after church one Sunday, I tore my ACL again in the same knee. I was even wearing my brace which actually made the tear worse. I knew what happened as soon as it happened because it was the same pain I had felt 18 months before, but I didn’t have the heart to tell my parents. I was just about to go on a graduation trip to Colorado, so I hid the swelling and pushed through it. A few weeks later, I graduated high school and went out to Colorado for a week of mountain biking, rock climbing, river rafting and mountaineering.

It was a great trip. On the last day, I called home and got the sense from my mom that something was wrong at the house. After I pressed her, she finally put my father on the phone. Remember, my dad was my hero; he led me to Christ, he discipled me, he was my pastor and model in all things. But on the phone that night, he admitted to me that for the past several months, he had been having an affair and that he was going to have to resign from the church. In that moment, it would have been easier if someone would have told me that he was dead. I was so crushed, so hurt. He was the greatest guy I knew and now he had done this evil thing to my mother, to his church, to us, and to God. That night in Colorado was one of the worst and longest of my life. My family was in worse shape than my torn up knee, but somehow my faith survived.

Somehow I kept believing that God had good plans for me, that God would work out all things together for good.

Though my football dreams had been taken away and my family was collapsing, I went off to Auburn University with a sense of hope. God was going to do something through this. I had been the SGA president of my high school and I thought, “I will run for SGA president at Auburn and make an impact on this campus for the Lord.” If playing football or being a preacher’s kid wasn’t a secure platform, maybe campus involvement was. So, I joined a fraternity and a bunch of campus groups. Everything was looking up. My parents were working things out, my dad, who was repentant, was eventually able to pastor another church, I had another knee surgery to fix things, and it seemed that all of this was God’s plan.

My junior year rolled around and I announced that I was running for SGA president. I had a great little team of frat guys and sorority girls to help me. On the last day to announce your candidacy, a guy named Jonathan McConnell announced he was also running for SGA president. McConnell hadn’t been involved in SGA, so I really never saw this coming. At first I remember thinking, “Oh this guy is a no name on campus. He will be easy to beat,” until I realized that his dad was the president of the Republican Party in the state of Alabama. His dad had helped the governor at the time, Bob Riley, get elected just a few years before. Coincidentally, Jonathan (the son) ran for US Senate in 2016 and made it an interesting race against longstanding Alabama senator Richard Shelby. By this point you might have guessed, as sophisticated as my team of frat guys and sorority girls were, our little campaign had nothing on McConnell’s and I lost. But my faith was strong!

I believed that God knew the plans He had for me and that He was going to give me a hope and a future. I knew all things work together for good for those who love God and who are called according to His purpose.

I went on with my life. That summer I began dating a girl I had met. I remember thinking maybe this is what the Lord had in mind; maybe all of this happened so I could get connected with this great girl. Maybe this is the plan He had for me? About halfway through the next school year, she broke up with me. And in the spring of my senior year of college, as I was facing graduation not really knowing where my life was going and having had so many of my plans spoiled, my faith that had once been so secure began to shake.

I remember praying, “I thought you had good plans for me? I thought you were supposed to prosper me? I thought you weren’t going to harm me? I thought all things were supposed to work for good? Well, none of this feels good.”  For the first time in my life, I felt far way from God. It seemed like I was laying my heart out on the line every time and coming up empty handed. I didn’t vocally reject Christianity or turn to drugs and alcohol, but I did just kind of feel numb to the things of God.  If He was so good and so kind, why, despite my greatest efforts and consistent faith, was nothing working out?  I was the kid who always kept his nose clean, had his act together, and tried to do the right thing.

Why wasn’t I prospering?

During that same spring semester in Auburn, I met an old pastor named Peter Doyle. He was retired, but he really enjoyed hanging out at coffee shops with college students and talking to them about Jesus. A buddy of mine and I started meeting with him and, as the Lord would have it, my attendance was a lot more consistent than my friend’s. It was on these days, when it was just Dr. Doyle and me, that I would tell him about my hurt and even about my numbing faith. The only thing he did in these moments was continue to teach me about Jesus. We were studying 1 John together, but Dr. Doyle just used the book as a spring board to the whole Bible. Through the weeks of meeting for coffee or burritos that spring, Dr. Doyle helped me see that my dreams were too small and my horizons too short. I had small dreams – playing college football and becoming the SGA president. Dr. Doyle helped me believe that God had dreams for me that were so much greater. He really did have good plans for me, and He really was going to work out all of these things for good, but I was reminded that none of that may happen in this life.

As we studied the Bible together, I realized that sometimes followers of God get notoriety and riches, but a lot of times they get dragged outside of the city and are stoned to death. As we studied God’s Word together, I started to really believe that things seem so hard in this world because none of us were meant for this world.  My dreams had been too small and my horizons were far too short. God was and is working out all things together for good, but it may take ten thousand years for me to understand all of that.

I’m grateful for Christianity, I’m grateful for the church I grew up in, I am grateful for Christian music and good sermons, and good books and all that Christianity has produced. But that spring, a shift happened in my life. While I believe I was a Christian before, that spring I looked to Christianity less as something that would serve my dreams and desires, and I started looking more toward Christ. I started to see his power, goodness, and beauty more and more, and that he really was the same yesterday, today, and forever. That spring I took a step away from following Christianity and a step towards following Christ.

I wish I could tell you that since that time that faith has been simple and that fighting sin and doubt have been easy, but that is not the case. I can tell you, though, since that time I really have grown more and more to understand the story that God is trying to tell, and it is not my story, it’s His. I guess I could have told you that before that spring in Auburn, but it took disappointment and pain for me to really understand it. Since then, I’ve experience some pain, but to be honest, my life has been full of a lot of joy, too, and the Lord has given me kind gifts. I have an amazing wife and three beautiful children and, since the fall of that year that I met with Dr. Doyle, I have been pastoring churches, a job that brings me so much joy.

Epilogue:

I originally wrote this article in the fall of 2017 on the eve of planting a church, Christ Covenant, in Atlanta, Georgia. Since that time the church has done very well, and we have seen hundreds of people come to faith and many more grow in their love for the Lord. I often think about Dr. Doyle and his impact on my life and how I want to be a kind of Dr. Doyle to others. In fact, minutes before sitting down to write this epilogue I was on the phone with a young man who was struggling with his faith trying to ease his heart and mind by pointing him to the Word of God and prayer. Dr. Doyle went home to be with the Lord last week at the wonderful age of 93. He leaves behind many disciples, many men and women, to whom he displayed patience and kindness as he pointed them ever faithfully to follow the Lord. Dr. Doyle has now finished the race and he not only kept the faith, he helped others to do the same. The ministry of Dr. Doyle now lives on through them, and I am forever grateful to be counted in that number. I now understand all the more the lessons that Dr. Doyle taught me as a college student more than 20 years ago, and I know I will understand his lessons even better when I see him again one day face to face with joy in the presence of our Lord.



How to Start the Year Strong: An Actionable Plan

By / Jan 1

Your Days Matter

Here’s a sobering truth: the wasted life is possible. It is a lurking enemy we must be aware of. Talents can be buried, time can be squandered, opportunities can be missed. You will not drift towards the vision of life God has for you. Seriously, let that sink in. You will not accidentally end up building an excellent life. We can spin our wheels, put out fires, run in circles, fill up our calendars, and yet still be missing what God has.

But there is a better way.

There is a way of clarity, wisdom, and action that God holds out to us. God wants to give us fruitful and faithful lives filled with joy and purpose. He wants more for us than being pulled in a thousand directions. He wants our lives to be built into something strong, beautiful, and lasting. After reflecting on the shortness of life, the Psalmist says, “Teach us to number our days carefully so that we may develop wisdom in our hearts” (Psalm 90:12). This is what you want. Not a frantic life, a lazy life, or a reactive life. You want a life lived with wisdom. You have a limited number of days and each one matters. The life of wisdom is one of careful focus and intentionality, it considers each year an opportunity to steward, and plans accordingly.

And, here’s an encouraging truth: whatever the last year has looked like for you, you can start a new year strong. You can do this by considering how you will number your days next year using the process of “Connection, Reflection, Direction, and Intention.”

Connection – Spend time with God

You don’t want to begin making plans without first bringing your life and heart to God. Consider this last year and pour your heart out to God.

  1. Adoration
    • Who have I seen God to be last year that I can worship him for?
    • What themes or passages in the Bible has he continually shown me?
  2. Confession
    • What patterns of sin have been present in me this year?
    • Where is God convicting me? What or to whom do I need to confess?
  3. Thanksgiving
    • What can I thank God for in what he has done in me?
    • What can I thank God for in what he has done through me?
    • What can I thank God for what he has done around me?
  4. Supplication
    • Ask God to open your heart, lead you, and guide the rest of this process.
    • Submit your plans to him, and tell him you trust him.

Reflection – Where am I right now?

It’s hard to move forward if you don’t know where you are. Prayerfully consider and write an honest reflection of where you are.

  1. Make a quick assessment of your health and satisfaction in various life areas, rating them from 1-10.
    • Faith, Marriage, Parenting, Vocation, Community, Church, Other Family, Physical Health, Financial Health and Generosity, Ministry, Rest and Joy.
  2. Present condition
    • How is my relationship with God?
      • Consider: what fruit of the Spirit is present/lacking, passion, love for God, obedience, prayer life, awareness of God’s love and grace, truth being alive and real, maturity, contentment.
    • How are my relationships with others?
      • Consider: Spouse, kids, friendships, extended family, church.
    • Am I stewarding life well?
      • Consider: finances, time, health, work, energy, rest, distractions, good works, mission, disciple-making.

Direction – Where is God leading me?

Now that you have a better understanding of where you currently are, take time to consider where God is leading you.

  1. Consider each of the main roles (Christian, Spouse, Parent, Vocation, etc.) in your life. For each of them answer these questions:
    • What is my vision/God’s vision?
    • Where am I seeing God already at work?
    • What are the obstacles getting in the way of the vision?
  2. Summarize where God is leading you:
    • What are the top three areas of growth?
    • What are the top three things I am going to accomplish?
    • What are the top three areas I need to learn?

Intention – What do I intend to do to get there?

You have a clear picture of where you are and where God is leading you. Now you need to plan on what you will do to get there.

Revisit your main roles (Christian, Spouse, Parent, Vocation, etc.) and summarized goals. Considering each area answer this:

  • What do I need to stop?
  • What specific actions do I need to take?
  • What disciplines and rhythms do I need to develop?
  • What is my ideal weekly schedule to build this life?
  • What tools will I use to manage my priorities and disciplines?

Enter items into your calendar and your task management system

Don’t just desire a better life

What could happen in your life and the lives of those around you if you lived with greater intentionality? Proverbs says, “The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied” (Proverbs 13:4). Think about your desires. What do you want? A better marriage? More fulfilling career? Financial freedom? More time with your kids? To make a difference? Desire alone will never produce change. We need diligence.

Don’t just hope 2024 is better. Don’t just hope that things will change. Start the year strong by being diligent in numbering your days, wisely reflecting on your life, and making a plan. Life may be short but it can be lived well. It can be lived with a heart full of wisdom. You won’t drift to where God is leading you but you can intentionally walk with him there. Let’s start the year this way and let’s live the life God has entrusted us in this way, every day.

<sup>*If you want an extended version of this process see here.</em>



2023 For the Church Book Awards

By / Dec 6

Like year’s past, we are excited to present our readers with a few books that stood out as exceptional from this past year. For our seventh annual For the Church book awards, members of our FTC council, editorial staff, and seminary community chose two books—a winner and a runner-up—to honor and to recommend to you for the way they impacted them personally and/or offers a significant contribution to the Church and her pursuit of a gospel-centered faith.

Congratulations to this year’s winners of the 2023 For the Church Book Awards!

Dr. Jason K. Allen, President of Midwestern Seminary and FTC Editor-in-Chief

Winner: 27 Dictionary of the New Testament Use of the Old Testament edited by G.K. Beale, D.A. Carson, Benjamin L. Gladd, and Andrew David Naselli (Baker Academic)

Dictionary of the New Testament Use of the Old Testament: Beale, G.K., Carson, D.A., Gladd, Benjamin L., Naselli, Andrew: 9781540960047 : Amazon.com: Books“Sometimes the most helpful additions to one’s library is not a volume to be read cover to cover, but a resource to be accessed throughout a lifetime of faithful ministry. Dictionary of the New Testament Use of the Old Testament is just such a resource, and it serves as a worthy companion to the similarly helpful Commentary on the New Testament Use of the Old Testament. Scholars, pastors, and students—indeed all who desire to better study and know the Scriptures—will benefit from this book.”

Get the book here.

Runner-Up: The Surprising Genius of Jesus: What the Gospels Reveal about the Greatest Teacher by Peter J. Williams (Crossway)

The Surprising Genius of Jesus: What the Gospels Reveal about the Greatest Teacher: Williams, Peter J.: 9781433588365 : Amazon.com: Books“Jesus was much more than a teacher, but he was nothing less than a teacher. Whether in synagogues on the Sabbath or day-to-day on the shores of the Sea of Galilee, Jesus customarily taught. And as he taught, his listeners recognized him as one with authority, altogether unlike every other rabbi of the day. In The Surprising Genius of Jesus Peter Williams methodically unpacks Luke 15, connects it the Old Testament, and painstakingly demonstrates just how divinely brilliant Jesus truly was, and why his teaching astonished his hearers and changed the world.”

Get the book here.

Dr. Jason G. Duesing, Provost of Midwestern Seminary and FTC Editorial Council Member

Winner: Friendship with the Friend of Sinners: The Remarkable Possibility of Closeness with Christ by Jared C. Wilson (Baker Books)

Friendship with the Friend of Sinners: Wilson, Jared C.: 9781540901354: Amazon.com: Books“Packer’s Knowing God
Sproul’s The Holiness of God
Piper’s Desiring God

Each generation of evangelicals have treasured life changing books. I can think of no better book to serve evangelicals in these days than Jared C. Wilson’s Friendship with the Friend of Sinners. The truth that God really does love us and we can know him is, I believe, the secret to the universe (and all of our hopes and worries). Exploring how we can know God through Jesus as friend is the remarkable key that unlocks the door to that secret—but, sadly, is often overlooked or forgotten. Never fear, Jared C. Wilson has come with this book, and as a friend to you and me, hands us the key, and invites us to enter. Come, one and all, and taste see why Jesus is good, and the best of friends.

Get the book here.

Runner-Up: 5 Puritan Women: Portraits of Faith and Love by Jenny-lyn de Klerk (Crossway)

5 Puritan Women: de Klerk, Jenny-lyn: 978 1433582103: Amazon.com: Books“Jenny-lyn de Klerk is an advocate. Following in the steps J. I. Packer, de Klerk aims to spark a reading revival of not just the Puritans, but Puritan women. Long neglected and misunderstood, de Klerk’s volume provides a remedy by enabling the reading of these women on their own terms. The result this careful and thoughtful scholar is edification and instruction for the Christian life.”

Get the book here.

Jared Wilson, Assistant Professor of Pastoral Ministry, Spurgeon College; Author in Residence, and FTC Editorial Council Member

Winner: Pastoring Small Towns: Help and Hope for Those Ministering in Smaller Places by Ronnie Martin and Donnie Griggs (B&H Books)

Pastoring Small Towns: Martin, Ronnie, Griggs, Donnie: 978 1087764924: Amazon.com: Books“Having pastored smaller churches, most recently in a very small Vermont town, I am always on the lookout for resources that get to the heart of this unique — but normal! — ministry so often overlooked by all the aspirational leadership guides in the evangelical marketplace. I’m thankful for this great little book by two veterans of small-town ministry. Martin and Griggs share their hearts and bare their souls, providing hard-won wisdom and grace-drenched insight for the thousands of ‘little guys’ in the trenches. As much as a single book can, this book pastors pastors. The year’s best in the ministry category.”

Get the book here.

Runner-Up: Pastor, Jesus Is Enough: Hope for the Weary, the Burned Out, and the Broken by Jeremy Writebol (Lexham Press)

Pastor, Jesus Is Enough: Hope for the Weary, the Burned Out, and the Broken: Writebol, Jeremy: 978 1683596738: Amazon.com: Books“Jesus’ letters to the churches in Revelation 2-3 are not the most likely reference point for a gospel-centered encouragement to modern-day pastors, but they make for a rich and stirring exhortation in Writebol’s book, which is a theologically stout but wonderfully devotional and highly applicational exhortation to pastors about the sufficiency of the gospel for ministry.”

Get the book here.

Lucas Hahn, Director of Marketing and Content Strategy and Managing Editor of For the Church

Winner: Help for the Hungry Soul: Eight Encouragements to Grow Your Appetite for God’s Word by Kristen Wetherell (Crossway)

Help for the Hungry Soul: Eight Encouragements to Grow Your Appetite for God's Word: Wetherell, Kristin: 9781433588617: Amazon.com: Books“In Help for the Hungry Soul, Wetherell helps cast a refreshed and renewed vision for the importance of Bible intake by addressing the hunger problem at the core of the human heart. Packed with Scripture, wisdom, practical application, and encouraging stories, Wetherell outlines the ‘how-to’ of Bible reading by unpacking the ‘why’ along the way. This book, especially as it framed the word as a ‘treasury of the Lord’s compassion’, was edifying and encouraging in my daily Bible reading.”

Get the book here.

Runner-Up: The AItheist: a novella by Michael J. Svigel  (Independently Published)

The AItheist: a novella: Svigel, Michael: 9798397411684 : Amazon.com: Books“The AItheist is a powerful little 100-page book that tells a riveting story of a Christian theologian-turned-atheist’s attempt to convince a sentient AI (artificial intelligence) machine to question the Christian faith amidst pain and suffering. Full of emotion, banter, and apologetics, the story that unfolds is heartbreaking yet beautiful. The few hours it takes to read is worth every minute.”

Get the book here.

Brett Fredenberg, Associate Editor at For the Church

Winner: The Holy Spirit: An Introduction (Short Studies in Systematic Theology) by Fred Sanders (Crossway)

The Holy Spirit: An Introduction (Short Studies in Systematic Theology): Sanders, Fred: 9781433565908: Amazon.com: Books“Gregory of Nazianzus once said of the Trinity, ‘No sooner do I conceive of the one than I am illumined by the splendor of the three; no sooner do I distinguish them than I am carried back to the one.’ In this wonderful introduction on the Holy Spirit, Fred Sanders demonstrates as much as he helpfully distinguishes the Holy Spirit yet does not divorce His person from the Father and Son. In fact, as Sanders has said before, you really haven’t begun studying the Holy Spirit if you miss the eternal relations of origins in the Trinity. This book helps you commune with the Holy Spirit and ponder the very heart of the Trinity. I couldn’t recommend it enough!”

Get the book here.

Runner-up: Christian Philosophy as a Way of Life: An Invitation to Wonder by Ross Inman (Baker Academic)

Christian Philosophy as a Way of Life: An Invitation to Wonder: Inman, Ross: 9781540965738: Amazon.com: Books“This book is the summation of an idea that has gripped my mind and heart this past year: contemplating God is not a means to some other end but is our very purpose. If we slow down long enough to consider the true, the good, and the beautiful in God and all things in relation to Him, we’ll return to a more human way of life on earth with God—one filled with awe and wonder. If you’re prone to disregard philosophy as impractical, ethereal, or merely intellectual, then read this book to see how it’s so much more, and so much less, at the same time!”

Get the book here.

Abby Schroeder, Associate Editor at For the Church

Winner: Every Moment Holy, Volume III: The Work of the People by Douglas Kaine McKelvey (Every Moment Holy)

Every Moment Holy, Volume III: The Work of the People: McKelvey, Douglas Kaine: 9781951872168: Amazon.com: Books“Now more than ever, I find myself repeatedly needing to refocus on the Lord in my daily tasks. Everywhere I turn, the world clamors for my attention, constantly vying with the Lord for my focus. Every Moment Holy is a beautiful collection of liturgies that serves as a subtle nudge, reminding me of God’s omnipresence in every facet of life. It skillfully challenges the common tendency among Christians to compartmentalize life into distinct spheres of work, leisure, and worship. Instead, the liturgies advocate for a holistic perspective centered on Christ, where every aspect of life becomes an act of worship.

Unlike Volumes I and II, Volume III is written by a diverse team of writers, artists, and songwriters, giving depth and texture to the readers experience. This anthology of liturgies seamlessly elevates mundane moments, such as yard work, wrapping Christmas gifts, dropping a kid off at school, and taking a walk in the neighborhood into opportunities for prayerful reflection. Every Moment Holy is a poignant tool, that I anticipate revisiting repeatedly, serving as a reminder of God’s unceasing presence in the smallest and most routine details of my life.”

Get the book here.

Runner-Up: Sunday Matters: 52 Devotionals to Prepare Your Heart for Church by Paul David Tripp (Crossway)

Sunday Matters: 52 Devotionals to Prepare Your Heart for Church: Tripp, Paul David: 9781433582820: Amazon.com: Books“In his book Sunday Matters, Paul David Tripp directs our gaze toward Christ and offers a refreshing perspective on the challenges many believers face when it comes to preparing their hearts and minds for Sunday mornings. As anyone who has worked in a church can attest, Saturday evenings and Sunday mornings can often feel like battlegrounds where the enemy seeks to distract and drain our energy.

Tripp, drawing from his wealth of experience, offers a practical solution to this common struggle. In this book, he presents 52 devotionals tailor-made for those crucial moments on Saturday evening or Sunday morning, just before heading to church. What sets these devotionals apart is their ability to refocus your heart and mind on the Lord when your physical body may be the only thing that feels present in the church building.

One of the standout features of Sunday Matters is the comprehensive structure of each devotional. Tripp doesn’t just leave you with a brief message; instead, he enriches your experience by providing carefully selected scripture passages, thoughtful reflections, and even prompts for family discussions. This multifaceted approach ensures that readers not only engage with the material but also are equipped to lead their families toward a heart that is prepared for Sunday worship.

Tripp’s book is a valuable tool for anyone seeking to reclaim the sanctity of Sunday mornings. Whether you attend church weekly or serve within a church community, Sunday Matters equips all believers to fortify their hearts against the distractions of the enemy, fostering a sense of rest, reflection, and renewal that truly makes Sunday mornings matter.”

Get the book here.

Grace Sutton, Associate Editor at For the Church

Winner: Women Leading Well: Stewarding the Gift of Ministry Leadership by Emily W. Dean (B&H Academic)

Women Leading Well: Stewarding the Gift of Ministry Leadership: Dean, Emily W.: 9781087776088: Amazon.com: Books“This is the book I wish I had when I first considered my call to ministry as a woman. From her personal experience and the experience of other women, Dr. Dean outlines the unique joys and challenges of being a woman in ministry and the variety of forms that calling can take: being a mother, volunteer, mentor, or director. Her practical advice is invaluable for women considering ministry and encouraging for those already ‘in the trenches.’”

Get the book here.

Runner-Up: Authority: How Godly Rule Protects the Vulnerable, Strengthens Communities, and Promotes Human Flourishing by Jonathan Leeman  (Crossway)

Authority: How Godly Rule Protects the Vulnerable, Strengthens Communities, and Promotes Human Flourishing: Leeman, Jonathan: 9781433587634: Amazon.com: Books“In an era increasingly suspicious of authority (even in Christian circles), Leeman’s book is a clear and nuanced study of authority when it is Scripturally defined, granted, and exercised. Leeman doesn’t coddle or hide the well-known sins of authority-gone-wrong, but still makes his readers grapple with the God-given authority of a church, elder, husband, parent, employer, or government. Authority offers a timely, balanced vision of these biblical positions in a world desperate to see them reflect the One with all authority.”

Get the book here.

Levi Moore, Manager, Sword & Trowel Bookstore and Tomlinson Cafe

Winner: 27 Dictionary of the New Testament Use of the Old Testament edited by G.K. Beale, D.A. Carson, Benjamin L. Gladd, and Andrew David Naselli (Baker Academic)

Dictionary of the New Testament Use of the Old Testament: Beale, G.K., Carson, D.A., Gladd, Benjamin L., Naselli, Andrew: 9781540960047 : Amazon.com: Books“Continuing the saga of the New Testament use of the Old Testament, Beale, Carson, Gladd, and Naselli have produce an enormously useful work for exploring and researching the intertextual elements of Scripture by topic. Formatted as one might expect a dictionary to be, the relatively short but substantive articles encapsulate a wide array of topics in a way that gives a launch point for more targeted research, especially with each article having a bibliography to guide readers to reputable resources. This volume is an absolute must to have for those who are serious about Old and New Testament studies alike.”

Get the book here.

Runner-up: O Come, O Come, Emmanuel: A Liturgy for Daily Worship from Advent to Epiphany by Jonathan Gibson (Crossway)

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel: A Liturgy for Daily Worship from Advent to Epiphany: Gibson, Jonathan: 9781433587948: Amazon.com: Books“Having already made his mark on the world of liturgical personal worship with Be Thou My Vision, Jonathan Gibson made his mark yet again this year with the release of his Advent focused volume, O Come, O Come Emmanuel. Having read through his former volume several times myself, turning to this new volume was a seamless transition that has strengthened my focus on the real reason for the season, the birth of Jesus Christ and his imminent sacrifice. This liturgical work’s ready-made worship plan aids the reader to focus on worshipping the Savior rather than wondering how to go about doing so. Especially poignant in this volume, just as in the former volume, are the constant reminders of three historic creeds of the church (Apostles’, Nicene, and Athanasian) and the prayers of the men of God who helped shape church history.”

Get the book here.

Once again, we would like to extend a congratulations to the authors and publishers represented in the 2022 For the Church Book Awards. You can view previous winners of the FTC Book Awards here: 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017.



Through Agony, Comes Forth Life: How Childbirth Points Us To The Hope Found in Christ’s Death

By / Dec 6

A few weeks ago, I was reading through the Gospel of Mark and came upon the narrative of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. As I read the words of Jesus “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will,” I felt the anguish of his words in a way I never have. I am currently 34 weeks pregnant with my third child which means my mind is never far from the anticipation of a coming baby and with that baby, the inevitable labor pains. With this being my third baby, I am fully aware of the pain that awaits me. The anticipation of the labor sometimes overbears the anticipation of the baby. So when I read Jesus’ words as he anticipates the agony of bringing forth life in a much more intense and important way, I resonated with his anguish. Once I felt those reverberations of Jesus’ plea in my own heart, I started to consider the ways that birth mirrors Christ’s death on the Cross. Obviously, childbirth cannot be equated to Jesus’ death to save sinners, but there are some evident similarities that have encouraged my heart as I prepare to endure suffering for the newness of life.

On the Cross, Jesus bore the agony of our sin to bring forth spiritual life for all who would believe.1 In labor, women endure the agony of contractions, pushing, and crowning in order to bring forth physical life. Both acts are God’s gracious kindness to mankind yet both acts include intense pain and suffering—one far more significant than the other but both as an act of submission for the sake of the life of another. Even those who have reprieve from the pain of labor through the gift of modern medicine, often do not get through labor without some sort of pain. The Cross and childbirth both tell us one thing, life is not given without intense sacrifice. So, Jesus’ words in the Garden as he begged for God’s relief from the cup of suffering ring familiar in the ears of a woman as she anticipates the hardship of bringing a child into this world.

In his death, Christ defeated the curse of Genesis 3, death. In childbirth, women are bearing the curse of Eve as they birth with increased pain. Christ had to die to overcome the curse for the sin of the world. Birth is excruciating because of that same curse. In a way that our births cannot, Christ’s death redeems the curse of humanity. Where we can merely endure the pain of the curse, Jesus’ suffering was effective for all of time to reverse the curse of death. As you should be starting to see, the parallels of Jesus’ death point us to a hope far greater than a healthy birth.

Sacrifice is required for new life. Just as we would choose to birth children despite the inevitable pain, both physical and emotional, that come from raising children, Christ chose to endure the wrath of God on the Cross out of love for both you and me.2 We don’t always know the outcome of our births, but we know the outcome of Jesus’ death. He has perfectly secured our futures. We cannot secure a certain future for our children and sometimes we lose them before we ever meet them and endure the pain of miscarriage without the bringing forth of life, but Jesus’ sacrifice means that death does not have the final say in the agony of loss, the emotional agony pain of which is far worse than the physical pains of birth.

After our births, people often reflect on the biology instituted by God that causes our minds to forget the intensity of our pain. Some say this is so we’re willing to have more children. Whatever the reason, it is a gift that the oxytocin released at the sight of our babies cleanses our memories of the agony previously experienced. When it comes to Jesus’ death, the pain of the Cross was not forgotten but instead it is remembered as the greatest event in history where new life became available.

In a perfect scenario, the labor of a woman produces a healthy, beautiful, and thriving baby, but we don’t live in a perfect world. This is where the parallel of Jesus’ death reaches peak encouragement. When our own birth stories do not bring forth life, when our labor does not end with that first breath, Jesus’ death is still certain. When our labors do not go as planned, Jesus’s crucifixion and subsequent resurrection are absolutely sure. His agony assuredly brought forth life. Even when our suffering in labor seems as though it is for nothing because we do not reap the joys of a healthy child, our suffering is not meaningless. In fact, Jesus’ death doesn’t merely parallel the agony of birth, it actually brings meaning to our suffering altogether. The physical pain, the emotional turmoil, the pain of infertility, the struggles of adoption—all are redeemed by Jesus’ death. The meaning we find in other facets of life such as birth are only made meaningful by the fact that Jesus’ died and rose for us.

Just as many of us bear the marks of having children through stretch marks and stitches, Jesus still bears the scars of what he endured to secure life for us. We have the privilege of bringing forth physical life and the privilege of being given spiritual life. In fact, through this lens, all should be considered grace upon grace. We participate in the creation of life and we receive the richness of life through Christ. Birth is merely a picture of Christ’s death—it cannot secure all that Jesus did, but it can point us to the greater reality of the suffering that took place for our own lives. Maybe, with this perspective in mind, we will have joy in the agony of bringing forth life because Jesus submitted himself to the will of the Father for the bringing forth of our very lives.


1. 2 Corinthians 5:13-15
2. John 3:16



9 Biblical Methods for Encouraging One Another

By / Dec 5

The Need for Encouragement

Would you take more encouragement if you could get it? Have you ever felt like you had no more need of encouragement? What would be possible in your life if you lived with a continual diet of encouragement from others? These questions help reveal something we all intuitively know: We need encouragement. The Bible presents encouragement as needed fuel for the Christian life. Without encouragement we will be lacking in love and faithfulness, fall into sin, become hardened, be deceived, live in unbelief, and miss the closeness of God (Heb 3:12-13; 10:25). It is vital.

If you have this need, so do those around you. Your marriage, family, and church all need encouragement. In the middle of struggle, sin, and suffering, we can bring the hope-filled voice of encouragement. In the mire of apathy, fear, and discouragement we can light the fire with the matches of encouragement. It is a great tool to serve others. A great gift we can give.

But, we need to learn how. How do we learn to use this great tool? How do we move beyond Christian platitudes that feel shallow? How do we give more than simple, secular affirmations (like the all too common “you got this!”)? The best way to learn how to encourage is to watch others do it. The Bible models this for us in a variety of ways. Let’s look at the examples and learn how we can we use this powerful tool.

Biblical Methods of Encouragment

 

1. Tell Others How God is Working Through Them

Paul tells the Thessalonians that, “…you became an example to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. For the word of the Lord rang out from you, not only in Macedonia and Achaia, but in every place that your faith in God has gone out.” (1 Thessalonians 1:7–8). Often we are blind to the good things God is doing through us. It may be because we always feel there is more to do, we see the imperfect nature of what we’ve done or simply because people don’t take the time to notice and appreciate. But God is working through us. When we see this we are led to thankfulness for the joy of participating with God and want to endure. Show people how God is using them.

2. Show Others How God is Working in Their Life

“…the testimony about Christ was confirmed among you, so that you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for the revelation of our Lord Jesus Christ. He will also strengthen you to the end..” (1 Corinthians 1:4–9). God is always working for the good of those who love him. Yes, life is hard but too often this is our only focus; the negatives, pain, and brokenness are hyper-real. But there is more to the story. Show people the evidence that God is active, present, and involved in their life. Show people that God is doing good.

3. Tell People How You See God Growing and Changing Them

“Therefore, we don’t need to say anything, for they themselves report what kind of reception we had from you: how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead—Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath” (1 Thessalonians 1:8–10). In the day to day, people can feel stuck and like there is little to no progress. Sometimes we doubt that God wants to, has, or can change us. We often need an outside voice to help us see where we have come from, and celebrate the changes God has made. God is sanctifying, show people where you see their growth.

4. Praise the Good You See People Doing

Paul says, “I always thank my God when I mention you in my prayers, because I hear of your love for all the saints and the faith that you have in the Lord Jesus…I have great joy and encouragement from your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother.” (Philemon 4–7). Much of our good is unseen. Many of our faults are magnified. By our self and others. It is too easy to correct error and assume good. Instead, we must thank and celebrate the good we see in others.

5. Remind People God Sees the Good They Are Doing

Likewise, we don’t just say that we see it. We must remind them that God sees their work and is pleased. “For God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you demonstrated for his name by serving the saints—and by continuing to serve them.” (Hebrews 6:10). Imagine if we all had fresh in our minds that though unseen by many, God sees the time we volunteer at church, our care for crying babies in the middle of the night, our interceding for others, and sacrificial generosity. God sees it and delights. Let’s remind one another!

6. Declare to Others the Truth of Who They Are

We all struggle with our identity. We are tempted to vacillate between self-righteousness when we are doing well and despair when we are missing it. The secular world often seeks to affirm our identity by telling us how great and worthy we are. But this is hopelessly empty. Our identity is more than our greatness. Our identity is rooted in who God has been and will be to us. We need to declare to one another who we really are: “To those who are the called, loved by God the Father and kept for Jesus Christ”. (Jude 1–2).

7. Thank People for Being a Blessing to You

“I give thanks to my God for every remembrance of you, always praying with joy for all of you in my every prayer…” (Philippians 1:3–6). “For who is our hope or joy or crown of boasting in the presence of our Lord Jesus at his coming? Is it not you? Indeed you are our glory and joy!” (1 Thessalonians 2:19–20.) We may think people know how much they mean to us but they do not. Sometimes people will say something like, “this goes without saying” or “I know you know this…” and then offer some encouragement. But I’ve never seen someone say, “yeah, yeah, yeah of course.” No, they are profoundly moved. We should be effusive in thanking others for the blessing they are to us.

8. Highlight the Character of God You See in Others

God is renewing each of us more and more into the image of Christ. This means people are displaying reflections of God continually. Through others we see a picture of God’s kindness, hospitality, faithfulness, service, boldness, etc. Tell them what you see. “About brotherly love: You don’t need me to write you because you yourselves are taught by God to love one another. In fact, you are doing this toward all the brothers and sisters in the entire region of Macedonia.” (1 Thessalonians 4:9–10).

9. Publicly Recognize the Contribution of Others

Let us not only privately praise others. Like sharing a meal with friends, sharing an encouragement is always better with others. “I commend to you our sister Phoebe, who is a servant of the church in Cenchreae. So you should welcome her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints and assist her in whatever matter she may require your help. For indeed she has been a benefactor of many—and of me also.” (Romans 16:1–2). Whether in writing, a small group, an introduction, or Sunday service give the encouragement of public recognition and honor.

We know we all need encouragement. The Bible calls us to encourage one another every day. Let’s not settle for shallow, unthoughtful, meaningless encouragements. Let’s grow in using this great tool. Take these 9 methods and make a commitment to practice each this month. Attach Scripture. Use specific examples and patterns. Write it down. Repeat. People will be built up, our churches will be changed, and God will be glorified.



Am I A Good Mom?

By / Nov 20

I feel like such a failure.

Growing up, I became accustomed to objective standards of success defining whether or not I had succeeded. An ‘A+’ signifies a job well done. A winning record in my collegiate sport proves my hard work. Even in marriage, a “Great job!” from my husband means I am accomplishing my goal of loving him well. Until recently, I didn’t realize how much I had begun to rely on these exterior praises to determine whether I had accomplished a job well done.

Every day, I am faced with opportunities to fail or succeed but there is no one other than my three kids under three to see. For the last three years, I have constantly strived to be the best and most God-honoring mother I can be. In my striving, I have never, ever felt more like a failure. Even the encouragement from my husband hasn’t been good enough for me. My kids aren’t old enough to understand what a good mom does and is, so I’m left pursuing an elusive affirmation that won’t come. In my struggle to understand why I often feel dissatisfied and discouraged in my homemaking and parenting, I turned to Scripture. By God’s grace, I found five truths regarding the unseen work of motherhood.

First, the work of caring for my home and for my children is good and godly work. In Titus 2, the call for older women to teach younger women includes the phrase “to be workers at home.” This section of text spells out for us what it looks like to be godly women. It is good for us to be working in our homes, loving our husbands and children. Whether it is wiping tables or wiping buns, God has given us the job of raising the blessing of children for his glory.1 It is good for you and I to pursue God’s glory in our most mundane and boring tasks.2

Second, the pursuit of the approval of man regarding my performance can be sinful idolatry. Galatians 1:10 says “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” If my work is dedicated merely to serving man, then I am missing the point and the proper motivation of why my work matters. If I rely constantly on the approval of my husband to affirm my value and worth as a mother, then I am seeking to serve man and not God. Colossians 3:23-24 directly commands us to serve God and not man. Now this is not to say that in serving God, I don’t also serve man. A clean home and fed children obviously serves them as well, but the main motivating factor in our work should be God’s glory. To pursue a clean home and obedient children for reasons other than honoring Christ can quickly become idolatry of man’s approval.

Third, the goodness of my work is determined by God, not by how I feel about it. What if I go to bed and the dishes aren’t done? What if I feel worn out from disciplining my children all day? What if I am completely discouraged by the insurmountable task of faithfully mothering? The goodness of my job as a mother is not determined by how ecstatic I am to be doing it. We all know that not every day feels like Disneyland, and often, even Disneyland isn’t all that great. This is why we must be reminded that God judges the heart.3 When your home is a wreck and your children are sick and it seems like everything is falling apart, God sees your heart, Mama. He knows your desire to honor him and he is not disappointed in the laundry that is undone. When you are patient and long-suffering yet your children still disobey, be encouraged that God has called your job of parenting good.

Fourth, when I inevitably fail, God’s grace is sufficient for me. Raise your hand if you’ve ever been angry with your kids. The fight against the temptation to respond in sinful anger toward my children is one I fight every single day. Often, that fight happens minute to minute. I am keenly aware of my failure in motherhood, but that failure is not found in an imperfect house or undone laundry. It is in a heart of grumbling, in a posture of discontentment, in impatience and anger, in envy and gossip. Part of my problem is that I displace what failure actually is. I am less concerned with the sin of anger if my kids obey. Yet, God says my sin is the true problem I face, not teenagers with attitudes. We are creatures of disordered values. We measure success in the final product, not in the heart of the process. Despite our many failures, God remembers that we are but dust.4 He promises to shower us with grace upon grace as we continually return to him in our failure.5 We serve a God that is acquainted with the hardship of living in a sin cursed world and he sympathizes with our striving and he is honored in our pursuit of faithful mothering.6

Finally, my value is found in Christ’s sacrifice on my behalf, not my striving in this life. When I don’t receive that A+ for the day or even if I do, my value as a mother is not measured in my wins and losses or my grade on the imaginary parenting report card. My life is hidden with Christ and it is no longer I who live but him who lives in me.7 I am called to be faithful and I will inevitably fail, but the truth is that because of Christ’s death and resurrection on my behalf, there is no failure, no sin too big, no utter parenting loss that can strip me from God’s right hand.8 This is the gospel! Through Christ’s sacrifice, we are secure and we do not have to strive for God’s love or seek the approval of our husbands to be considered good. God has declared us righteous in his sight and there is no better place to be.

So be encouraged sweet Mama, we are not striving in vain. The Lord has given us the good work of motherhood and no matter how we feel about it at this moment, this is a good work for us to do. We don’t need the approval of man. We don’t need a winning record. We need God’s grace in our failure and we need to be reminded over and over of the precious good news of the gospel.


1. Psalm 127:3-5, Ephesians 6:4
2. 1 Corinthians 10:31
3. 1 Samuel 16:7
4. Psalm 103:14
5. John 1:16
6. Hebrews 4:15
7. Galatians 2:20
8. John 10:28



On Vice and Virtue

By / Nov 16

In volume two of his trilogy, Ethics as Theology, Oliver O’Donovan attempts to “follow moral thought from self-awareness to decision through the sequence of virtues from faith to hope.”1 Here, O’Donovan begins with a sort of reorientation related to the ‘Spirit and Self.’ This reorientation is attempting to respond rightly to the divine summons in Psalm 95:7 to not harden one’s heart.

However, following Augustine, O’Donovan notes the disordered nature of our love(s). In relation to ourselves, love is disordered because it “clings to a self that is self-conceived.”2 This self-enclosure, as Luther described it, is a vicious circularity.3 Not only does this disordered love long to be the object of admiration, but in this self-enclosure there is a failed agency where shame and doubt block any further view of God’s wisdom rescuing us from indifference, folly, excuse, and despair.

As O’Donovan’s second volume addresses, I want to briefly reflect on a few vices of self-enclosure and a few virtues of our renewed agency as united to Christ Jesus.

On Vices of Folly & Anger

From the book of Proverbs, folly is a basic vice. Its contrast to wisdom is a major theme in the book. “The proud person” says Basil, “lacks the capacity to recognize God’s gifts in his or her life.”4 Folly blinds a man from the sight of beauty and good. Folly cripples a man from walking the path of godliness and wisdom. Folly hardens the heart of a man as he looks too long in the mirror.

The vice of anger has many faces because we are self-enclosed either in terms of deficiency or excess. Anger might rend the face of irritability as a deficiency of patience. Anger might rend the face of quarrelsomeness as the excess of courage. Anger might rend the face of resentment or grudge-holding as the deficiency of forgiveness. Anger might rend the face of self-righteousness as the excess of truthfulness. In other words, those who are easily provoked are “led by their rage and do not know what they do on account of their anger, nor do they know what they suffer in themselves. What’s even worse, they sometimes think that the stimulus of their anger is the zeal of righteousness. As we know, when vice is believed to be virtue, sin accumulates without fear.”5

On Virtues of Humility & Forbearance

However, the Psalmist is clear: “The humble will hear and be glad.” Likewise, Solomon says, “God resists the proud and gives grace to the humble.” Humility is the substance of our imitation of Him, for in doing so, we become who we were made to be. Indeed, this is what virtue is; imitating Christ Jesus “so that out of our humility there may arise for us everlasting glory, the perfect and true gift of Christ…the soul grows like what it pursues, and is molded and shaped according to what it does.”6 Thus, as arrogance is a deficiency of humility and self-deprecation is an excess of humility, humility is boasting in the Lord of glory alone for we “have not embraced Christ through virtue, but Christ has embraced you through his advent.”7

The virtue of forbearance (Eph. 4:2; Col. 3:13), closely linked with the virtue of fortitude, lays out the moral responsibility of those predestined and loved in Christ to “bear with” or exhibit “long-suffering” with those brothers and sisters who may irritate, frustrate, annoy, hurt our feelings, or make this world more difficult than it already is. Whereas forbearance is a command by Christ, it is also a virtue that we cultivate and practice as we endure and live with those around us under the rule of Christ’s peace. Thus, the virtue of forbearance is the long-suffering practice of bearing with those who we may want to quarrel with in anger or disregard in strife.

On Vices of Strife & Discord

Augustine notes: “whoever follows after what is inferior to himself, becomes himself inferior…For if happiness consists in the enjoyment of a good than which there is nothing better, which we call the chief good, how can a man be properly called happy who has not yet attained to his chief good?”8 Strife, then, can be conceived as a deficiency of the loving Peace, or it may be conceived of as an excess of justice. Those caught in the vicious circularity of strife have disregarded the chief good, God himself, and are trapped in their own self-enclosure.

The vice of discord is the deficiency of peace wherein charity is destroyed, and self-regard is perpetrated. Gregory says: “let those who sow strife consider the extent to which they sin. For when they perpetrate this particular sin, they also eradicate every virtue that they may have in their heart…whoever destroys the charity of his neighbor by sowing strife acts as though he were in the service of God’s enemy.”9

On Virtues of Forgiveness & Peace-making

Forgiveness is the flip side of forbearance or “bearing with one another.” (Col. 3:13; Prov. 10:12) Keller notes in his recent book: “Forgiveness…is a promise to not exact the price of sin from the person who hurt you…It is possible to inwardly forgive without being able to reconcile with the offending party. Yet anyone who truly forgives from the heart will be open to and willing to reconcile.”10 In those times of personal conflict or hurt or pain, we are faced with a critical dilemma: remain self-enclosed or live in the participation of the life of God. Of course, there are nuanced times when forgiveness may occur and the relationship will take time to be reconciled. Nevertheless, the principle remains: the life of the Christian who shares in the life of God is one of forgiveness in the little & big things.

The virtue of peace-making is first grounded in the heavenly peace of Christ’s reign such that an earthly peace lends no path for sin. Further, as Thomas explains, the virtue of peace is more than an absence of conflict; rather, true peace requires charity between two persons who share the same desire for the chief good in each other.11

On Virtue of Love

In summary, Augustine describes the four cardinal virtues as four forms of love: “Temperance is love giving itself entirely to that which is loved; fortitude is love readily bearing all things for the sake of the loved object; justice is love serving only the loved object, and therefore rightly ruling; prudence is love distinguishing with sagacity between what hinders it and what helps it. The object of this love is not anything, but only God, the chief good, the highest wisdom, the perfect harmony.”12

Living well is a way of being with God as our highest and chief good. Therefore, in seeking that chief good (Col. 3:1-4), we live a happy life (Ps. 34:8-10). As the apostle Paul says, without love we are nothing, but with love we experience the fullness of our participation in the life of God. Furthermore, we experience this happy life through friendship. As one dear friend recently reminded me, the discord, estrangement, and relational strife we experience in this pilgrim land will heighten our beatific vision in our homeland. And we’ll do this together as we look back and see all the great things He has done, even through our vices.


1. Oliver O’Donovan, Ethics as Theology, vol. 2 (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 2014), ix.
2. Ibid., 21.
3. Ibid.
4. Basil the Great, On Christian Doctrine and Practice (Crestwood: St. Vladimir’s Press, 2012), 103.
5. Gregory the Great, Book of Pastoral Rule, (Crestwood: St. Vladimir’s Press, 2007), 127-128.
6. Basil, On Christian Doctrine and Practice, 117.
7. Ibid., 113.
8. Augustine, On the Morals of the Catholic Church, in Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers, series 1, volume 4. (Peabody: Hendrickson, 2012), 47-48.
9. Gregory the Great, Book of Pastoral Rule, 155.
10. Tim Keller, Forgive, (Viking, 2022), 185.
11. Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologiae, II.IIQ29
12. Augustine, On the Morals of the Catholic Church, 58.



What is the Doctrine of Adoption?

By / Nov 15

Editor’s Note: The Theology in the Everyday series seeks to introduce and explain theological concepts in 500 words or less, with a 200-word section helping explain the doctrine to kids. At For The Church, we believe that theology should not be designated to the academy alone but lived out by faith in everyday life. We hope this series will present theology in such a way as to make it enjoyable, connecting theological ideas to everyday experience and encouraging believers to study theology for the glory of God and the good of the Church. This week, adoption.

There are hundreds of thousands of orphans in the United States alone and millions around the world. A distinctive feature of Christianity has been caring for these orphans (Ja. 1:27), but this was always expected of God’s people (Isa. 1:17). In the Old Testament, the ethical imperative to care for orphans was grounded in God’s character. He is a Father to the fatherless (Ps. 68:5). However, in the New Testament, we receive a fuller revelation, teaching us that Father is a proper name. God is eternally Father, Son, and Holy Spirit apart from the created order.

The apostle Paul prays to “the Father from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named” (Eph. 3:14). In other words, creaturely fatherhood derives from the eternal Father, who eternally begets His beloved Son. Similarly, all sonship is derivative of the Son. We might be tempted to think that when the Bible speaks of believers being adopted, it is merely a metaphor based on the context of adoption in the ancient Greco-Roman world. But to the contrary, earthly adoption is a metaphor, a shadow, a sign to the reality of salvific adoption, whereby a spiritual orphan becomes a son of God. Fatherhood and Sonship precede all creation, and adoption is nothing less than participation in the life of the Trinity through union with the natural Son of God. In love, the Father predestined us for adoption to Himself as sons through Jesus Christ (Eph. 1:4-5). In Him we have obtained an inheritance—a fitting thing for a son to receive—and the Holy Spirit is our downpayment (Eph. 1:11-14). The distinct missions of the Son and the Spirit are achieved in order for us to become sons and heirs (Gal. 4:4-7). As Fred Sanders has written, “Salvation by adoption is the salvation than which nothing more fitting can be imagined by a triune God.”[1]

Adoption is a much “bigger” doctrine than most recognize. Our predestination, effectual calling, justification, and glorification are centered around adoption (Rom. 8:12-30), containing legal, transformational, and eschatological elements. The doctrine of new birth (or regeneration) is distinct but intertwined with adoption, given that both testify to our soteriological sonship through the Son. Adoption is admittedly a more Pauline way of speaking, while becoming children of God by being “born of God” or “born from above” is Johannine language (John 1:12-13, 3:3), but both of these distinct emphases testify to a salvation that participates in the eternal Father-Son relation. We are granted a filial status because we enter into that union as the Spirit of the Father and the Son fills us with His presence.

The entire New Testament also assumes this doctrine through two marvelous notions we haven’t yet mentioned: the family of God and prayer. Every apostolic writer presupposes that Christians have become a family, which consists of brothers and sisters, even fathers and mothers. How can Jews and Gentiles, Pharisees and tax collectors, bondservants and masters—people of every tribe, tongue, and nation—be considered a family? Jews may cry, “Abba,” and Greeks, “Father (patēr),” but it is by the same Spirit of adoption to the one Father of all (Gal. 4:6). Sonship is the underlying framework for our basic ecclesiology. Furthermore, our communion with God depends on this reality. We approach the throne of God in prayer, not as orphans but as children, and we beseech Him with the pattern of prayer handed down to us, “Our Father in Heaven” (Matt. 6:9). We pray to our Father through His Son in the Holy Spirit!

For the Kids:

Can you imagine not having a mom or a dad? As sad as it is to think about, some children grow up without parents. They don’t have anybody to take care of them—to feed them, clothe them, play with them, discipline them, or teach them about Jesus. But God cares about every orphan. That’s why he commands Christians like us to care for them (Ja. 1:27). There are different ways to care for kids without parents, but one of the most obvious and beautiful ways is by adopting them into your own family. If your parents adopted a child, they would become your new brother or sister, and they would have a new mother and father. If you’ve been adopted or know anybody who’s been adopted (or even if you can imagine it), then you’ve seen a picture of how the gospel works.

God is a Trinity. He is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and that is who He’s always been. God never changes. So before there were any families with fathers and sons—before anything was created at all—God the Father had a Son, the Son had the Father, and they both had the Holy Spirit. And before the world even existed yet, God the Father chose us to be adopted into His family through His Son. But why did we need adopted?

We’re born as sinners, which means that we’ve been separated from God and have become spiritual orphans without God as our Father. But the Father sent His own Son to save us by His life, death, and resurrection, so that we could be brought into His family forever. When we believe in Jesus the Son, we become adopted by God the Father, receive the Holy Spirit, and get lots of new brothers and sisters too!

[1] Fred Sanders, Fountain of Salvation: Trinity and Soteriology (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing), 102.