Wisdom for Unwanted Singleness: Singleness as a Gift (Part 1)

By / Mar 2

If you had told me when I was 21 that I would still be unmarried at 33, I may have actually died. I have always wanted to get married and have children. By God’s grace, I’ve truly enjoyed much of my single years, but the desire for marriage has always been there. I know I’m not the only person who desires marriage and children but is still single. It’s a strange path to walk when you’re 22 and all your friends are getting married; it’s stranger when you’re 33 and the kids you used to babysit start getting married before you do!

Walking through unwanted singleness into my thirties has forced me to think more carefully about the Bible’s teaching on marriage, singleness, and disappointment in general. Over the years, I’ve come across biblical resources that have put the desire for marriage in its proper place and encouraged me to live my single years with an eternal perspective. But what would the whole counsel of God’s Word say to the person who desires a God-glorifying marriage, is committed to finding a spouse with biblical wisdom, and yet, marriage does not come?

It has been helpful for me to think through unwanted singleness in three biblical categories: gift, trial, and loss (each will be covered in this 3-part series). Recognizing the different dimensions of unwanted singleness helps pinpoint how the Bible speaks to each aspect – and as always, God’s Word is sufficient and equips us for faithfulness.

Gift

The most popular passage about singleness is found in 1 Corinthians 7. Paul says, “I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another” – referring to either the gift of singleness or the gift of marriage (1 Corinthians 7:7). There has been much debate surrounding what exactly the “gift of singleness” is, but if we stick close to scripture, we can clear up a lot of confusion.

According to the Bible, the gift of singleness is an external circumstance, not an internal disposition. The word “gift” is mentioned one time in 1 Corinthians 7, and it is in reference to the state of being single or the state of being married. Paul says people either have the gift of marriage or the gift of singleness – a marital circumstance given from God. So, if we are single, we currently have that gift. If we are married, we currently have that gift.

Later in the chapter, Paul points out some advantages of being single:

“The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:32b-34).

Sam Allberry provides helpful insight on these verses: “Paul is not saying that singleness is spiritual and marriage is unspiritual. Nor is he saying that singleness is easy but marriage is hard. No, the contrast is between complexity and simplicity. Married life is more complicated; singleness is more straightforward.”[1] Paul observes that single people do not have the built-in complexity that married people do and are generally free – in their less-complex lives – to engage in the things of the Lord in a unique, focused way. According to Paul, and the witness of the rest of scripture,[2] singleness is a great advantage in the kingdom of God. It is an opportune situation to be about the things of the Lord.

Because there is often so much baggage surrounding the term “gift of singleness,” it may be helpful to see how a biblical definition corrects some common ways of misunderstanding it. Here are a few things singleness is not.

1) Singleness is not permanent. Because the gift of singleness is simply our current situation, it can change. If a single person desires to get married, it is not wrong to date or pursue marriage. Paul encourages those who desire to get married to get married (1 Corinthians 7:9), and the Bible affirms a high view of marriage.[3] While marriage can be idolized just like anything else, those who want to get married desire something God created, instituted, and said is good. Whether or not a person ever gets married on earth is ultimately in the Lord’s hands. But singleness, just like marriage, is temporary. In the new heavens and the new earth, believers will all be “the Bride, the wife of the Lamb” (Revelation 21:9).

2) Singleness is not our master. Having the gift of singleness does not mean that a single person should be a frantic ministry machine. Singleness is not our master – God is. Single people are still image bearers to whom the rest of God’s Word applies. Singles should use their unique margin and flexibility for kingdom building, but they should also engage in biblical rest and deeply enjoy life to the glory of God (Exodus 20:8-11, Ecclesiastes 6:18-20). Single people are also not paying their singleness dues and once they’ve served enough, then they’ll get the gift of marriage. Both marital statuses are gifts given – or taken away – based on God’s wisdom and prerogative, not performance.

3) Singleness is not a spiritual gift. Lifelong singleness, or a season of it, is not a spiritual gift to be exercised, but simply a circumstance in which to be faithful to God:

“Spiritual gifts are meant to build up the body of Christ. Obviously, singles are to strengthen the church too—but not by virtue of being single. Rather, singles do it by exercising their spiritual gifts, just like everyone else. Your singleness isn’t a spiritual gift then, but it is a gift from God, one He wants you to receive and enjoy with thanksgiving. If you’re single, your singleness is a gift; if you’re married, your marriage is a gift. If your marital status changes, God has given you a different situation within which to follow Him.” [4]

Single people should be using their spiritual gifts while they are unmarried, knowing that if God chooses to provide a spouse for them, they will be using those same gifts in a different setting.

Singleness is our gift if it is the current situation God has for us. We do well to thank Him for it, enjoy it worshipfully, and leverage its advantages for the kingdom of God. But unwanted singleness is a gift in another sense as well. Christians believe that everything in our lives come to us from the hand of God, including the things we don’t want. So, if we have singleness when what we actually desire is marriage, we have a trial – a particular kind of gift. Thankfully, the Bible has a lot to say about these kinds of gifts.

[1] Sam Allberry, 7 Myths About Singleness (Wheaton: Crossway, 2019), p. 37.

[2] See John Piper’s sermon “Single In Christ” for more comprehensive teaching on the advantages of singleness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvhsYU1p3a8

[3] Ephesians 5:31-32;

[4] Jayne Clark. “The ‘Gift’ of Singleness.” Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation, accessed March 10, 2021, https://www.ccef.org/the-gift-of-singleness/

Continued in Singleness as a Trial (Part 2). 

Editor’s Note: This article originally appeared at porchanddove.com.

 



The Weightiness of Words

By / Feb 28

These days, talk is cheap, but it lands with amazing expense. If you’ve ever doubted the biblical word on the tongue being a fire (James 3:5-6), you need only check your preferred social media stream to see the ongoing conflagrations being kindled minute by minute. The world is more connected than it’s ever been, and thus we have more opportunities than we’ve ever had to wound others with perhaps our most devastating weapon.

In a world of spin and marketing, self-promotion and self-pity, Facebook comment sections and Twitter mobs, we are drowning in a typhoon of words poorly used, carelessly cast, angrily angled. When words are many, transgression is certainly not lacking (Prov. 10:19).

But it’s not just “out there” that these fiery attacks take place. Nearly anyone who’s spent a decent amount of time in any church can testify to the hurtful application of the tongue, even by brothers and sisters, even by Christian leaders. How subtle is this spiritual fire!

I’ve been on the receiving end of some very hurtful words. Some were meant to hurt, others did so unintentionally. Churchfolk can be very simple and unassuming, and at the same time absolute ninja warriors with the verbal daggers. Gossip, passive aggression, backhanded compliments. If you haven’t been outright attacked by malicious speech in the context of Christian community, you’ve likely encountered one of those deceptively subtle kinds of attacks.

As a Christian leader, I’ve discovered that my words have hurt others entirely apart from my intention! Words I meant as light-hearted struck others as demeaning. Words I meant as inspiring struck others as intimidating. Words I meant as warnings struck others as condemnations. Not all offenses should be taken, of course, but a lot more could be avoided if we were all more on guard about our words.

Our words are indeed a stewardship. They can hurt . . . or they can heal. They can tear down, or they can build up. They can bring condemnation, or they can announce forgiveness. They can deliver bad news, or good.

Let us take care, then, as believers in the holy word of Christ, to make sure our words are sensible and well-seasoned, positioned more to build up than to tear down, and careful and cheerful, that we might adorn the word of grace and give the best impression to others of our kind Savior. Our words carry weight. May this weight be the weight of glory.

In an age where talk is cheap, let’s consider the cost of what we say.



Living in Light of Jesus’ Return

By / Feb 28

“There are two days in my calendar: this day and that day,” quipped Martin Luther in reference to Christ’s second coming. We have come a long way since Luther’s statement, with most believers erring dramatically in one of two directions.

Second coming sensationalists are the most egregious, and widely lamented, offenders. They predict the timing of Jesus’ return; but, of course, they do so in vain. Jesus stated no man knows the day or hour of his return. The most infamous prognosticator in recent years has been Harold Camping, who on multiple occasions has predicted the specific date of Jesus’ return, thus embarrassing himself—and the name of Christ—before a watching world.

As irresponsible as Camping and his ilk are, one can argue the greater danger facing the church is not hyper-expectancy about Jesus’ return, but a slumbering church that acts as though Jesus isn’t returning at all. This seems especially to be the case in the year 2013. Twenty years ago, sermons and literature on the second coming were plentiful, but such interest seems to have gone the way of the el Camino car or the waterbed, an out of style fad from a previous generation.

This ought not be the case, for evangelicals are a second coming people. Though we hold differing positions on both the millennium and on the tribulation, we are unified on the literal and soon-coming return of Christ. For Christians, though, the most important questions to ask are not if Jesus will return—that is settled—and not when he will return, that is unknowable. The most helpful question to ask is: “So what?”

Jesus’ second coming is not an abstract doctrine with no bearing on the Christian life. Rather, the New Testament refers to Jesus’ return with applicability. The Bible is replete with references to Jesus’ second coming. These passages come not as an eschatological data dump, but as a forthcoming event that is to shape a Christian’s life. The Pauline corpus speaks with special relevance. Paul frequently references, and even elaborates on, the timing and circumstances of Christ’s return. In studying Paul’s many references to the second coming, one finds that the Apostle gives special emphasis not only to Jesus’ return, but to the church’s posture as the bride in waiting. What Jesus will do and when he will do it are not unimportant considerations, but they are not the most urgent. The most pressing consideration for believers is how we should live in light of his impending return.

An Expectant Hope

In Titus 2:13, Paul describes Jesus’ second coming as the church’s “blessed hope.” For most Christians throughout church history, expecting the second coming was more than the hope of moving from a good life to a more perfect eternal state. Rather, it was a yearning for deliverance from pestilence and war, a yearning for deliverance from death and destruction, and a yearning for deliverance from poverty and persecution, or even deliverance from martyrdom.

In the Western world, Christianity in the 21st century finds most believers enjoying life in relative comfort. Religious freedom, modern medicine, bourgeois lifestyle, and other modern-day conveniences have proven to bring not only earthly comfort but also spiritual complacency. This comfort often diminishes our yearning for Jesus’ return.

This complacency is frequently found in the local church as well. Many congregations act as though Christ’s return would interrupt their building program or contravene their long-range strategic plan. Too many young adults seem content for material pursuit, while senior adults are too busy enjoying retirement to long for Christ’s return. I sense that for many Christians today, heaven is too distant, eternity too abstract, and Jesus’ return too theoretical. In complete contrast, we need to live life on a first-century footing, yearning for something so beautiful and eternally satisfying—to see Jesus and be made like him—that it eclipses and transcends all other longings and expectations.

A Sanctified Life

In expounding upon Jesus’ return, Paul frequently references the church’s need to prepare individual’s lives to see Jesus. In fact, Paul calls the church to live as “sons of light and sons of the day, not as of the night or of darkness” (I Thessalonians 5:5), in anticipation of Jesus’ return. Truth be known, if our longing is not right, our living will not be right either.

Few things focus one’s life like impending judgment. This is why Jonathan Edwards resolved “never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if I expected it would not be above an hour, before I should hear the last trumpet” (Resolutions of a Saintly Scholar). Therefore, it is urgent that we recover a robust and expectant eschatology. As we do, we will find that a healthy anticipation of Jesus’ return infuses the Christian life with focus and urgency, proving to accelerate growth in the spiritual disciplines.

Cause and effect can be difficult to disentangle, but in the New Testament there is a clear correlation between anticipating Christ’s return and living a more sanctified Christian life. Expecting to meet Jesus occurs with a sober intention to purify one’s life, and the call to purify one’s life occurs in concert with anticipating Jesus’ return. This is why one preacher famously said we should live as though “Christ died yesterday, rose from the grave today, and is coming back tomorrow.”

A Renewed Witness

The more Christians contemplate Jesus’ return—and the final judgment associated with it—the more we will be renewed in our evangelistic witness. This is rooted in the gospel and the Great Commission itself. The lost urgently need to hear of Christ before they meet him. After all, as Peter reminds us, God has delayed Christ’s return and final judgment to allow time for a greater harvest of souls. Peter writes, “The Lord is not slow about his promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9).

The second coming of Jesus and the renewal of our personal witness is precisely where the inerrancy of Scripture and the exclusivity of the gospel intersect. To embrace the total truthfulness of God’s Word—including the soon-coming return of Christ and the corresponding truth that all must repent and believe in Jesus to be saved—should propel us into a renewed fervor for the Great Commission. The Christian who confesses Jesus is coming and that salvation is found only in his name must be dynamic, not static, in his witness.

Conclusion

The church’s attention to Jesus’ return seems to be seasonal, with interest rising and falling based upon a host of issues, most especially current geo-political events. The need of the hour is not for more end-times speculation or an unhealthy preoccupation with the sequence of eschatological events. Such interests should give way to an eschatological anticipation that impacts how we live the Christian life until he returns.

Perhaps there should be a touch of Harold Camping in us all: hoping, yearning, and even expecting Jesus’ return. Until he comes, we find ourselves with the saints of the ages, longing for the day when the kingdom of this world becomes the kingdom of our Lord and of his Christ, and praying with the saints of the ages, “Even so, come, Lord Jesus.”

Editor’s Note: This article originally appeared in the May 2013 edition of SBC Life, and was originally published at ftc.co on November 30, 2016. 



Faithfulness is Right in Front of You

By / Feb 25

“What are you doing now?”

I stuttered to answer.

My friend and I were discussing various internships I was considering when he focused my plans back on the present.

Sitting in my school’s student center that day, I felt like a nobody on the brink of failure for not taking enough opportunities. I was “merely” a college student and a church member, working a part-time job—nothing more.

Before I could answer out loud, my friend reminded me of all my current responsibilities and encouraged me to “just be faithful.” Having years of ministry experience himself, I took his words as an encouragement (maybe I wouldn’t be a failure if none of the internships worked out), but I didn’t want to take the advice. I still wanted to focus on what opportunities were around the corner.

Two years after that conversation, I’ve been graciously given opportunities to learn and do more than I ever expected. Although I’m no longer peering around the corner for more, I can still discontentedly search for a season of life that’s not so exhausting.

But these words still echo in my memory: “Just be faithful.”

Maybe you’ve heard these same words from a friend, pastor, or mentor. In the Christian world (especially in ministry circles), we often hear success defined as faithfulness. This is how the good servants were described in Matthew’s parable of the talents. They were faithful (Matthew 25:21). For those in ministry, Paul emphasized that “it is required of stewards that they be found faithful” (1 Corinthians 4:2). It is right and biblical to define Christian success as faithfulness, but I wonder if sometimes we unhelpfully make the two words synonymous, to the point where we can’t distinguish one from the other.

In the past, I’ve misconstrued faithfulness with positive, measurable outcomes (how we usually think about success in the world). I expected faithfulness to earn an enjoyable job with a reasonable income, easy relationships, and a comfortable lifestyle. After all, the faithful servants earned double the amount they were given at the beginning of the parable and received recognition for it (Matthew 25:15-23). Isn’t that success?

In the parable, notice how the master did not affirm the five-talent servant differently than the two-talent servant. They both heard the words, “Well done” (Matthew 15:21-23). Their faithfulness wasn’t defined by the outcome of their work, but the work itself. The one-talent servant didn’t fail because he had so little, but because he did nothing.

Faithfulness isn’t success. It’s action toward given responsibility.

When I was told to be faithful as a college student, church member, and part-time employee, I thought that was a pitiful list of responsibilities. “Just being faithful” with what I had sounded like a resignation to inadequacy (especially if you’re prone toward high ambition, like me). But what seemed like not enough or not glamorous enough to me was everything God had given.

My friend was right. I had things to do—enough to be faithful.

Do you feel like this season is insignificant? Like you can’t do enough for the kingdom of God? Like you only have one talent? If you even have one talent, God gave it to you and wants you to use it. Be faithful.

But what if God blesses a season with success? What if your finances, performance, and positions are comfortable and thriving? Is that faithless? Absolutely not. God may give different gifts or “talents” to different people, but his expectation remains the same. Be faithful.

Or what if a season feels significant and overwhelming? The list of expectations are endless and you don’t know how you can keep up. God still gave you everything on your agenda, and he wants you to do it. Be faithful.

What has God given you today? Does it look like too little, too much, or enough?

Do you need to go to a boring or difficult job? Sit in class? Drive to the hospital? Resist sin? Alleviate suffering? Clarify a conflict? Change a diaper? Present a business proposal? Make a major decision?

Whoever you are, wherever you are, faithfulness is right in front of you. It’s whatever’s next—no matter how hard or trivial or crucial it might be. For faithfulness’ reward is not in its success, but in the joy of the master (Matthew 25:21, 23).

What are you doing now?

Be faithful with it today.



The Painfully Precious Gift of Pastoral Weakness

By / Feb 24

The rising sun illuminated the sky above my head in incredible hues of purple, pink, orange, and red that danced across the sky, which was awaiting the sun to pierce the horizon and warm the sand beneath my feet. It was a picture-perfect early summer morning at the beach, but my heart churned wildly as if tossed about by a violent storm at sea.

Fear of what the future would hold ravaged my heart. Self-doubt paralyzed me. The sadness of painful past ministry experiences and lost relationships tormented me. Grief over my own sin was closer to me than my shadow. It seemed as if these feelings that were once sporadic visitors of my heart had unpacked and were now freeloading, and I didn’t know how to get rid of them.

As I walked the beach that beautiful morning, I rehearsed all the reasons that I felt I was in over my head in pastoral ministry. I was convinced that the problems my church was facing were beyond my capabilities. I was certain that any wisdom, gifts, or positives that I brought to the table were easily negated by my leadership weaknesses, lacking pastoral skills, and crippling fear of man. And I was right. God gave me the painfully precious gift of showing me that I was in over my head.

That morning, and many mornings afterwards, the Lord showed me that I could not build the church in my own strength. Of greater significance, the Lord showed me that I could not build his church in my own strength.

In the kindness of holding up the mirror and exposing my own insufficiency, God allowed me to look through a window of his grace to see his sufficiency.

2 Corinthians 4:7-12 became a life raft that I clung to in the violent storm of my doubts, fears, and grief:

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you.

Fellow pastor, allow your haunting sense of weakness to be the vehicle that drives you to trust in God’s strength for you in the resurrected Jesus.

Do you feel overwhelmed and fearful in your evangelism? Do you struggle with a sense of feebleness and powerlessness when it comes to your preaching? Do you continually second guess yourself and yearn for reassurance that you are doing something (or anything) right? Do you look at the Facebook pages of church members and wonder whether or not you have it in you to shepherd the church through the political and cultural polarization that is ripping too many churches apart? Do you feel as if you get home each day with an empty tank and nothing left to give to your family?

If you found yourself nodding in the affirmative with any (or all) of these questions, that’s exactly the point. We have this treasure (Christ) in jars of clay (ourselves) so that we would trust him and not ourselves. Your weakness can either drive you to despair or be your servant in shining the spotlight on the sufficiency of Christ.

Before you pray that God would bring you out of whatever it is that cripples you as you serve him, pray that he would glorify himself through these weaknesses.

Brother pastor, may you find mercy that helps you rest in the fact that our God, who causes the sun to rise and tells the waves of the ocean how far they can reach on the shore, will be glorified through those of us whom he has tasked with shepherding his people. He is the treasure that has come to us. In your weakness, your church will be well-served to see Christ at work in you, it is Christ who far outshines the most beautiful of sunrises. 



A Godly Life in Christ: Suffering with Jesus

By / Feb 23

“All who want to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.” – 2 Timothy 3:12

Suffering Learned 

The apostle Paul lowered his eyes as the words came rolling off his tongue. After a few moments, the amanuensis lowered his pen and scroll, waiting in silence. Apart from the crackling of the fire, Paul’s prison cell was eerily quiet. For some time, he remained in silent contemplation, occasionally glancing out of the window into the cloudless night sky. 

For Paul, these words were not mere suggestions or passing remarks. He knew the reality which they signified all too well. For he had suffered much for the sake of Christ – sleepless nights, shipwrecks, famine, persecution… but that was for another letter. More regrettably, he had also been the cause of much suffering. He knew what “a godly life in Christ Jesus” looked like, not simply from his experiences as a Christ-follower, but also from his experiences as a persecutor of Christ-followers. This too had been a kind of suffering; however, it was a suffering which had resulted from his own inward, hell-bent madness. 

The room remained silent. Having just laid out the fiery future of all Christians this side of heaven, a strew of memories passed before his mind’s eye. He remembered Stephen, that first martyr who, with an otherworldly boldness, had gazed upward to heaven and cried out, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit!” (Acts 7:54-60). He remembered the terrified cries of children as they watched their parents being dragged away to prison (Acts 8:3). He remembered carrying letters of condemnation to those near and far, letters bearing undeniable witness to this reality: “All who want to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.” 

Suffering Transformed 

After some time, Paul regained focus and continued speaking: “But as for you, continue in what you have learned and firmly believed. You know those who taught you, and you know that from infancy you have known the sacred Scriptures, which are able to give you wisdom for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 3:14-15). 

Wisdom for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.

This is the gospel message, the euangelion (Gk. ‘good news’), which had transformed Paul’s entire life, including his view and experience of suffering. What he once viewed as the meaningless sufferings of the confused, he now saw as necessary birth bangs of a new world, the very means by which this present creation would be set free from its bondage to decay (Rom. 8:18-22). 

In the light of his confrontation with the risen Lord Jesus, Paul could no longer view the suffering of his followers as a sign of folly or weakness. How could he? After all, the all-powerful Lord who confronted him on the road to Damascus had himself endured the worst form of punishment in the Roman world: crucifixion. Furthermore, and as Paul would later understand, Christ had endured far more than Roman hammers and Jewish mockery upon the cross; he had endured the very wrath of God against sin (Rom. 8:3-4). 

The Great Reversal 

For Paul, this tragic moment in human history – Christ the Lord upon the tree – had proven to be the very moment in which the God of Israel, the Creator himself, would reveal his eternal and unchangeable love to a sinful, dying, and hell-bent world. What a paradox! What reversal of wisdom! What divine love! 

All of this flowed through Paul’s mind as he finished verbalizing his second letter to Timothy. He knew that he himself was about to follow in Christ’s footsteps. “The time of my departure is close,” he said. And then, with eyes wet from the tears of a deep and abiding joy, he asked his assistant to write one more thing. 

“The Lord be with your spirit. Grace be with you all.”



The Seven Works of the Holy Spirit

By / Feb 22

I once attended a Holy Spirit revival in South Asia. The prosperity gospel was the focus of that meeting. The teacher kept saying, “Give your best seed to God, and He will give you the desires of your heart!” By “best seed,” he meant that we should give him lots of money. He said things like, “If you need a house, go and clean out your bank account. Give it to God! Then God will give you a house.” The teaching often broke for Holy Spirit times. The teacher would command the Spirit to come as a fire, lay hands on people, or speak a prophecy. Over 1,000 followers of Jesus gathered and made a great deal of noise as they writhed, fell down, and did all sorts of things, purportedly under the influence of the Holy Spirit. It was by far the most charismatic meeting I have ever witnessed in my life. Probably 50 pastors from our city participated in all of these things.

Later, many of those pastors came to me and asked, “Do you think that the things in that meeting were from the Holy Spirit or not?” I loved it when these pastors came and asked this question. It gave an excellent opportunity to talk to them about what the Bible teaches about the Holy Spirit.

When they asked, I responded by asking, “What do you think? What does the Bible say about the Holy Spirit?” I was genuinely surprised when most of these pastors confessed that they did not really know what the Bible teaches about the Holy Spirit. So, we would open up the Scripture and talk about what the Holy Spirit does. Out of those discussions, I developed this teaching that I call the Seven Works of the Holy Spirit. I often teach believers this tool to help them understand the Holy Spirit. Muslim-background believers have found this teaching informative as they interact with local Christians.

The Holy Spirit Transforms our Lives

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The law is not against such things.” Galatians 5:22-23

Galatians 5:16-25 teaches us that if we walk by the Spirit, we will be transformed by His power. First, “the works of the flesh” will diminish in our lives. These are things like sexual immorality, moral impurity, envy, and drunkenness (Gal. 5:19-21). Second, the fruit of the Spirit will automatically emerge. Therefore, when the Holy Spirit works in our lives, our character changes. We are filled with love, joy, peace, and patience. Another way to say this is that the power of the Holy Spirit sanctifies us to make us more and more holy. If you claim to walk by the Spirit but are not characterized by the fruit of the Spirit, ask the Lord to transform your life. Jesus told His disciples to pray, saying, “How much more will the Heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?” (Luke 11:13) In the same way, we should ask the Father to transform our lives and character by His Spirit.

The Holy Spirit Convicts Us of Sin

“Nevertheless, I am telling you the truth. It is for your benefit that I go away, because if I don’t go away the Counselor will not come to you. If I go, I will send him to you. When he comes, he will convict the world about sin, righteousness, and judgment: About sin, because they do not believe in me; about righteousness, because I am going to the Father and you will no longer see me; and about judgment, because the ruler of this world has been judged.” John 16:7-11

If we have been saved and given the gift of the Spirit, we cannot be comfortable with sin in our lives. The Spirit will constantly convict our hearts. Some actively ignore the Spirit until that conviction begins to fade. But that is a perilous place to be! If we suppress the work of the Spirit in our lives until He no longer convicts our hearts of our sin, it means that we have grown to be quite far from God. Suppose the Spirit is genuinely moving in our lives. In that case, we are often led to repentance, turning from our sin to walk more closely with our heavenly Father. The convicting power of the Spirit is a gift from God to help us from wandering from our heavenly Father. We should be holy as the Lord our God is holy.

The Holy Spirit Guides Us to the Truth 

“I have spoken these things to you while I remain with you. But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and remind you of everything I have told you.” John 14:25-26

Jesus promised that the Holy Spirit would remind us of the teachings of Jesus. In the same teaching, Jesus said, “I still have many things to tell you, but you can’t bear them now. When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all the truth” (John 16:12-13a). If the Holy Spirit is truly working in your life, you will be driven to study the Scriptures. The Spirit will reveal His Word to us. As a result, we naturally move away from wrong beliefs to having better and better theology because of the power of the Spirit.

The Holy Spirit Empowers Us to Proclaim Christ

“When they had prayed, the place where they were assembled was shaken, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak the word of God boldly.” Acts 4:31

In the book of Acts, the Spirit constantly empowered God’s people to proclaim the gospel. In Acts 2:4, the Spirit fell, and 120 followers of Jesus began to proclaim “the magnificent acts of God” in the languages of all the pilgrims to Jerusalem (Acts 2:5-11). Then Peter stood up, empowered by the Spirit, and preached the gospel so powerfully that 3,000 took baptism (Acts 2:14-41)! In Acts 4:8, Peter and John were filled with the Spirit while on trial (as Jesus promised in Matthew 10:19). The Spirit gave Peter and John bold words to proclaim to the religious leaders of Jerusalem. After they were released, a group of believers prayed again until they were filled with the Spirit. The result was that they “began to speak the word of God boldly” (Acts 4:31). If you are filled with the Spirit, you will proclaim the gospel. The Holy Spirit guides us to proclaim the life-saving message of the gospel!

The Holy Spirit Gives Us Spiritual Gifts 

“Now there are different gifts, but the same Spirit. There are different ministries, but the same Lord. And there are different activities, but the same God works all of them in each person. A manifestation of the Spirit is given to each person for the common good: to one is given a message of wisdom through the Spirit, to another, a message of knowledge by the same Spirit, to another, faith by the same Spirit, to another, gifts of healing by the one Spirit, to another, the performing of miracles, to another, prophecy, to another, distinguishing between spirits, to another, different kinds of tongues, to another, interpretation of tongues. One and the same Spirit is active in all these, distributing to each person as he wills.” 1 Corinthians 12:4-11

The Holy Spirit gives gifts to every believer. The purpose of these gifts is to serve the body and advance the gospel. There are two opposite errors that people make regarding spiritual gifts. Some emphasize spiritual gifts too much. When we listen to these individuals, it is as if the only purpose of the Holy Spirit is to give us these gifts. They deemphasize everything else the Spirit does to emphasize this one part. On the other side, some devalue spiritual gifts, usually in response to those who overemphasize them! We should aim somewhere between these two extremes by valuing spiritual gifts but not overly emphasizing them.

The Holy Spirit Empowers Us to Worship 

“And don’t get drunk with wine, which leads to reckless living, but be filled by the Spirit: speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making music with your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.” Ephesians 5:18-21

The Greek structure of Ephesians 5:18-21 is interesting. The central command is “be filled by the Spirit.” This command is modified by five participles, “speaking to one another,” “singing and making music,” “giving thanks always,” and “submitting to one another.” These five participles are either (1) how we become filled with the Spirit or (2) what happens when we are filled by the Spirit. In fact, I believe it is both of these. These five participles all refer to actions that occur in corporate worship at church. If you find yourself far from the Spirit, repent of your sins (you cannot be filled with the Spirit if you are filled with sin!) and join in other believers in worship and body life. As you do, you put yourself in a position to be filled with the Spirit. At the same time, when you are filled with the Spirit, you automatically speak to others in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs while giving thanks to God! In reality, this passage describes the ideal working of the Holy Spirit in the corporate body. These actions are not done individually but are done together as a church. The Holy Spirit fills his people as we worship together.

The Holy Spirit Leads Us 

“They went through the region of Phrygia and Galatia; they had been forbidden by the Holy Spirit to speak the word in Asia. When they came to Mysia, they tried to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus did not allow them. Passing by Mysia they went down to Troas. During the night Paul had a vision in which a Macedonian man was standing and pleading with him, “Cross over to Macedonia and help us!” After he had seen the vision, we immediately made efforts to set out for Macedonia, concluding that God had called us to preach the gospel to them.” Acts 16:6-10

The Holy Spirit often spoke to and directed His people in the New Testament. In Matthew 4:1, our Lord Jesus was “led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.” In Acts 16, Paul and Barnabas were clearly led by the Spirit to go to Macedonia when they had no intention of going there. The point is that God often leads His people by His Spirit. We should be open to the gentle nudges and direction of the Spirit.

After sharing these seven works of the Holy Spirit with the pastors who attended the Holy Spirit meeting, I would ask, “You have seen what the Bible teaches about the Holy Spirit. Now I want to ask you a question. Did you see evidence of these works of the Spirit in the lives of those believers after the meeting?” I had this conversation with more than a dozen pastors. Every pastor simply confessed, “No.”

I feel that a point of clarity is necessary here. We should not necessarily expect that all seven of these works of the Spirit must be observed to say that something was from the Spirit. In fact, it is common to see one or two of these works present when the Spirit moves in an individual’s life. However, absence of all of these works of the Spirit should cause doubt of whether something was genuinely from the Spirit.

The next question each pastor asked was, “What does the Bible say about how to be filled with the Holy Spirit?” This is a question of extreme importance in the Christian life. Perhaps I will write a future blog on how I answer that question.

Editor’s Note: This article was originally published at No Cousins Left. 



Sometimes Leaders Need to be Carried

By / Feb 21

But Moses’ hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun.
— Exodus 17:12

Once upon a time, when I was a pastor, I sat with a dying friend and read to her from 2 Corinthians. This was our second time through the letter together. She was resonating a lot with Paul’s talk of afflictions and “jars of clay” and thorns and weakness. But I began to think something else was at play here, and my friend might not have even been conscious of it. See, she was a leader. And while her illness, which eventually did claim her life, had by necessity caused her to withdraw from the fray of church service and thrust her into a fray of a different kind, when I read Paul saying “I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls” (2 Corinthians 12:15), I think it described her to a “T.”

She had poured out immeasurably over the years for her family, her friends, her church, and her community. She seemed a tireless servant, sacrificing constantly to live simply and therefore generously. She had been our church’s “queen” of benevolence. And she had been a tireless evangelist, maintaining several long-term relationships with unbelievers very dear to her, whose salvation she  labored for over decades. (She had high hopes and prayers that her illness and perhaps even her death would serve as a turning point for their receiving the gospel.) Given all of the hard work she had engaged in for so long, it bothered her somewhat to be in that vulnerable position. She had always been the one who helps, the one who takes charge. But sometimes leaders need to be carried too.

Paul assumes so. Continuing in 2 Cor. 12:15, he writes, “If I love you more, am I to be loved less?” Elsewhere: “We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians; our heart is wide open . . . In return (I speak as to children) widen your hearts also” (2 Cor. 6:11,13). As he opens in greeting, almost immediately discussing his great affliction and need for comfort, he asks for help: “You also must help us by prayer” (2 Cor. 1:11).

The truth is, our leaders need to be carried sometimes. At all times, they need to be carried to the Lord in prayer. This is the single best thing you can do for those who are responsible for your spiritual upbringing. They need your prayers more than they need your praise, and they certainly need your prayers more than your advice. And while they do need your advice, they moreso need your encouragement, your consideration, your benefit of the doubt. They need you to not rehearse accusations in your mind against them, but advocate for them in your imagination.

Leadership of all kinds is lonely and costly. It is tiring. For every person with a problem, he or she is essentially all that exists. Affliction has its way of self-centering. But all the problems that exist are the leader’s. And for spiritual shepherds who take it all seriously, there is “the daily pressure on them of their anxiety for the whole church” (2 Cor. 11:28, par).

I remember the period of time right after I’d moved to Vermont to assume a new pastorate. My wife Becky stayed behind in Nashville, keeping her job because we needed her income to cover our mortgage there because our house had not sold. I had our daughters with me. For nine months we did this, and while it may not seem like a lot for families accustomed to such separation, it was extremely difficult for all of us. Becky and I both suffered from deep discouragement. The loneliness and “left behind”-ness was crushing her. Trying to pastor and parent in a new place all by myself was crushing me. I began to question our decision, question my calling. I struggled to find any joy in our new home. I was breaking down in the pulpit. I was losing my temper with the girls. I was wandering about, numb and defeated. I was trying to tend to the care of a church full of new friends, and suddenly had to face the need for my own care. I have been through a period of depression before, to the point of entertaining very dark thoughts about myself, and I could feel the murky edges of this darkness closing in on me again.

The Lord came through, and he came through through the grace of our church, carrying me, carrying us in an extraordinary way. It was in that time that I re-read Exodus 17, by happenstance, and the image of Aaron and Hur pulling up a stone for Moses to sit on and holding up his arms overwhelmed me. That simple, stirring image of the man’s being carried by his brother and his friend made me sob. It’s a beautiful thing to not just read Scripture but to feel it.

Good leaders carry their people when they’ve gotten lost, when they’ve gotten hurt, when they’ve gotten too tired to follow. At the very least, a good leader will sit with them while they gather their strength. Or when their strength is giving way to death. It is part of the calling. But sometimes leaders need to be carried too. Do you carry yours?

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
— Galatians 6:2



Just Keep Going

By / Feb 18

“Let us not grow weary of doing good.” – Galatians 6:9

In 1983, John Piper preached a sermon on Galatians 6:9 with this opening statement. “Probably the worst enemy of enthusiasm is time.”

No matter how strong we start, time has a way of eroding our zeal. No matter how good the effort is initially, time’s strain wears us out. No matter how righteous the thing is, we grow weary of it. The worst enemy of enthusiasm is time.

Many of us feel that acutely these days. The age of coronavirus has beat relentlessly against us. Hundreds of thousands have perished. Stores have closed. Schools have swung their doors open only to slam them shut the next week. Churches, trying to serve the many, broadcast online to the few while hosting the rest in socially distanced venues. Or they broadcasts online to the many while the few make Sunday feel like the first year of a church plant. Whatever our good is that we’re doing, we’re getting weary.

A wise pastor used to say anything good done in this world is done by tired people. Nothing worthy moves forward on momentum alone. It takes sustained effort over a long period of time. In the words of Eugene Peterson, it takes a long obedience in the same direction. Time may take the wind out of our enthusiasm, but we must find new ways to raise the sails again.

How can we do that?

Paul gives an answer in Galatians 6:9 in the form of an imperative. “Let us not grow weary of doing good.”

Paul knew what it was to grow weary. After all, it was he who said, “Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches. Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is made to fall, and I am not indignant?” (2 Corinthians 11:24-29)

If anyone knew what it meant to grow weary of doing good, it was the Apostle Paul. So how can he say flatly, “Let us not grow weary of doing good”? What kept him going? What did he see that we need to see?

He tells us in the second part of the verse. “For in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

Of course, we must be sure the thing we’re doing is truly good. We must be certain that our work is God’s work. If we are in it for our selfish purposes, may it die a thousand deaths. If we are in it for glory or control or a million other less-than-holy reasons, may time suck it all away.

But in the doing of good for God, the only way we fail is by giving up. The only way the harvest doesn’t come is if we pack it in. The only way time wins is if we never regain our enthusiasm. We will reap, if we do not give up.

Everyone has a counter-argument to the endurance doing good requires. You probably have it in your mind right now. You are the exception. You are the outlier. You are the one in all of human history for whom God will not come through.

But God is not letting up on us because he’s not giving up on us. His call is not to take it easy when it gets hard but to press in all the more, especially when it’s hard. The Lord loves us deeply, but he doesn’t coddle us, and he won’t let us coddle ourselves either. He knows the cancer that time is to our zeal, but he has fresh mercies every morning.

So whatever good you are doing right now, and whatever good you are tempted to quit doing right now, don’t. Don’t give up. Do not weary of doing good. The harvest is coming. Just don’t give up.

Editor’s Note: This article was originally published at Things of the Sort. 



Keep Your Heart with All Vigilance

By / Feb 17

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. – Proverbs 4:23

Proverbs 4:23 consists of an exhortation and an explanation, a command and a reason. The verse begins with a call to keep your heart with all vigilance. Like a soldier defending his post against attack, you must guard your heart.

We typically associate the heart with our emotions. In scripture, however, the heart represents the mind, the will, and the emotions. The heart is the seat of personhood. It is one’s innermost being; the control-center of life.

The command to keep your heart reminds us of the priority of the inner self. What happens within us is always more important than what happens around us. The attitude of our hearts matters more than the circumstances of our lives. The heart of the matter is always the matter of the heart.

Keeping your heart is an ongoing responsibility. It is not like setting an alarm and trusting your house is safe, as you go about your day. It is like posting armed security at the door to protect the house against intrusion or invasion. You must keep your heart with all vigilance. Do whatever it takes to guard your heart. Practice diligence oversight of the state of your heart.

Why is keeping your heart important? The heart is the wellspring of life. From it flow the springs of life. Your thoughts, choices, and feelings flow from what is in your heart. The heart is a mighty river. Life is an overflowing stream. The flow of the river determines the life, health, and strength of the stream.

Many people struggle to experience meaningful life-change, because they deal with their problems downstream instead of upstream. They work downstream to get debris out of the water. The more they remove, the more flows in. True change only happens when you go upstream an address the heart of the matter.

What does it mean to keep your heart with all vigilance?

Keep your heart flowing. A stream will dry up if there is no source of water flowing into it. So will our hearts. The heart cannot survive in its own strength, wisdom, or resources. We need to praise the glory of God in worship. We need to feed on the truth of God in scripture. We need to trust the help of God through prayer. Blessed is the heart that thirsts for God, as a deer pants for streams of waters (Psalm 42:1).

Keep your heart clean. The tragedy of an oil spill is not the wrecked ship that caused the spill. It is the contamination of the water and the destruction of life that results. In the same way, if your heart is polluted, your life will be polluted. By the atoning blood of Christ, the sanctifying power of the Spirit, and the renewing work of the the word, keep your heart clean. Pray with David, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me” (Psalm 51:1).

Keep your heart strong. When a stream flows in many different directions, its strength is dissipated. Life works the same way. You may feel the pressure to chase after many good things in life. But if you do not guard your heart, the good becomes the enemy of the best. A strong heart is not a shared heart. Keep your heart strong by a single-minded devotion to the Lord. Share Paul’s testimony, “This one thing I do…” (Philippians 3:12-14).

Keep your heart quiet. As the storms of life rage, the tumult disturbs the unkept heart. The temptation is to flee to a place of peace. But if the storm rages within, relocation will not find a calm refuge. Conversely, the quieted heart stands firm in the angry tempest. Do not worry about anything. Pray about everything. As you pray your worries away, the people of God will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7).

Keep your heart useful. Nothing lives in the Dead Sea, because waters flow into it from the Jordan River, but nothing flows out. There must be inflow and outlet to sustain life. Guard the flow of your heart coming and going. As the truth, love, and grace of God flow in, obedient, service, and generosity should flow out. Be a river, not a reservoir. Pour into the lives of others from the overflow of the Lord’s goodness to you.

Editor’s Note: This article was originally published at hbchalresjr.com.