Gospel-Centered Resources from Midwestern Seminary
This episode of the FTC Podcast brings another installment of the regular mailbag feature. Today’s questions and topics include: advice to a young pastor, building healthy ministry boundaries, if the Billy Graham Rule applies to social media, finding a mentor in the church, and what exactly is an Author in Residence?
”He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.”
– Titus 1:9
In their roles, pastors are often tasked with overseeing and expected to exemplify the truths of Scripture to their church through their preaching, teaching, shepherding, and personal testimony. In a society opposed to truth, clarity, and conviction, pastors face the daunting task of holding fast to the truths laid out in Scripture. As we move towards the end of Pastor Appreciation Month, let us take the time to pray for pastors in the days ahead. As the cultural continues to move in every direction, the church will be tasked with staying centered on the sound doctrine and truth it proclaims.
Let’s pray for pastors that they may lead with conviction and in the following ways:
Lord, I pray that my pastor (for a church member)/ I (as a pastor) may trust your word with all their heart and lean not on their own understanding in a society already seeking to do so. Give them conviction and clarity in their role as shepherd of your church. May they hold fast to and have confidence in your plan for the church and their part in your redemptive story…
*These prayers are a part of our series of prayers for pastors during Pastor Appreciation Month. A new prayer will release every morning throughout the month for pastors and their members to reflect on and pray.
Partnership in the gospel is a gift from God. Few passages in Scripture remind me of this more than reading of Paul’s goodbye to the Ephesian elders in Miletus in Acts 20:36-38:
And when he had said these things, he knelt down and prayed with them all. And there was much weeping on the part of all; they embraced Paul and kissed him, being sorrowful most of all because of the word he had spoken, that they would not see his face again. And they accompanied him to the ship.
While gospel-centered friendship is a sweet gift, it also can be a great source of pain when it goes away. Some of my tightest hugs have been with believers leaving to take the name of Jesus overseas, knowing we will most likely not reunite this side of eternity. Ministry is full of gospel goodbyes, and I have had my fair share.
Taking a new job, moving to a different place, or entering a new stage of life often alters relationship rhythms. But how should we respond when separation between friends occurs not by weeping together through the night but with an unceremonious, dry-eyed goodbye? When someone does not walk away from the faith—they just walk away from you?
In the past few years, I’ve experienced betrayal by other believers that left me breathless. We live in a digital, fast-paced age where there is hardly time to mourn the division in our churches or personal lives before the next dissension occurs. If you find yourself trying to catch your breath, here are four encouragements for you to pause and reflect upon as you seek healing in the Lord:
Humble yourself.
As one who has experienced it, I know one of the worst questions to ask a person who feels betrayed is, “Are you sure they sinned against you?” Even so, I think it is an important question for believers ask ourselves as we evaluate how to move forward in prayer and reconciliation with one another.
What one person may receive as a personal betrayal may actually be another believer’s obedience to God’s calling.
It can be easy to forget that not all decisions revolve around us. For example if a pastor prayerfully pursues a position in another place, it could be a temptation for some congregants to view the move as a personal abandonment rather than a movement of God. Assuming the worst of others’ intentions allows a root of bitterness that could eventually grow to choke out the relationship.
There is a better way! By the power of the Holy Spirit, we can trust God through difficult situations and lovingly seek understanding. It is appropriate to be honest about feelings, ask questions, and take the person’s previously displayed character into account. But it is essential to recognize that relationships are a gift that can be given, changed, and taken away by God.
People who genuinely submit their lives to Jesus do not usually make decisions to be malicious. They make them based on their understanding of God, His Word, and the world. These choices form from their own conscience, convictions, wounds, sins, and experiences. Combine those factors with a broken world and the result? Even the best intentions (or truly holy actions) can still hurt. Processing pain from someone else’s decision does not mean the decision was inherently wrong or sinful.
Have grace for them.
That all sounds good in theory. But what if it is personal?
Betrayal from another believer hurts. It cuts especially deep because the blood of Jesus binds us in love. Because of Christ’s work on the cross, we break bread together, walk with one another through joys and sorrows, and share the same Holy Spirit. In God, we are family. To share in such intimacy only to experience a betrayal of trust is devastating.
Releasing this kind of hurt to God requires us acknowledging that even someone who stands justified before God through the blood of Christ is still a sinner in the process of being sanctified by the grace of God.
Recognizing people are sinful does not mean we have license to villainize them. Do they slander you? Spew lies or hatred? Mock your ministry? God will hold them accountable for these actions. It’s easy to justify pride or retribution by labeling it as a desire for justice. But regardless of how much pain we endure at the hands of others—believers or unbelievers— we need not look further than the nail-pierced hands of Jesus to know forgiveness is possible. Who are we to withhold it when God so graciously extends it to us through the blood of His Son?
Humans are all sinful, and no matter how hard we try, we will fail in this broken world before we reach heaven. Romans 5:6-8 reminds us that the peace with God we experience through faith is not because of anything in us, rather:
For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
For this reason, we should be willing to demonstrate the grace God poured upon us to others so they might remember the gospel. Though their sin may still elicit consequences like loss of trust or removal from leadership, we can still pray for the Holy Spirit to enable us to be kind, speak truth, and show grace even when the offender does not.
Have grace for yourself.
There are always two sides to a betrayal. I am confident we have all been on both.
Do you find yourself in the position of the betrayer rather than the betrayed? Confess your sin before God and find healing in confessing to others (James 5:16). If you have made mistakes or there is truth to the words of your hurt brother or sister, you may want to run from or deny the reality of the situation. Denial is dangerous for you and unloving to them. Instead, lean on the truth that no matter how badly you’ve messed up, you are not outside of God’s grace. Cherish the reality that according to Romans 8:1, “There is therefore no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.”
If you are the one who is hurt and need to distance yourself from a relationship because it no longer produces fruit for the Kingdom, there is grace for you as well. That person’s life does not rise and fall on your decisions, and if it does, that relationship may be an idol for them. Sometimes the most loving thing is to help break that idolatry by refusing to enable them. You can recognize your bond in the body of Christ without being best friends. If your loving distance is unforgivable in their eyes, pray for them from afar and trust God to work in their life even if you no longer are part of it.
Trust the character of God.
God our Father is just. When people act unjustly, God knows. When we act unjustly, God knows. You may not have seen it coming, but God did. Before the foundation of the world, He foreknew our sinfulness and ordained for His Son to bear the wrath we deserve (Isaiah 53:10).
The only sinless person ever to walk the earth was betrayed.
Our Savior experienced betrayal from his closest friends on earth. Imagine: the friends he shared meals with, traveled long distances with, and shared the gospel beside abandoned him in his darkest hours. These men knew Jesus. They were his disciples. They were his friends.
Jesus experienced betrayal by his friends, by previous followers, by crowds that had at one time praised him. Yet he still faced the path before him, praying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done” (Luke 22:42). The Son’s fulfillment of the Father’s will meant bearing scorn from the world. Christ was let bleeding to an instrument of torture and died, uttering to his Father: “Forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).
It was the sins of his betrayers that Jesus atoned for on the cross. His blood atones for the sins of fellow believers just as much as it atones for yours.
So, look to Jesus as you heal from betrayal. Whether you are processing pain caused by a friend turning against you or find yourself in the process of your own repentance, know God alone is wholly trustworthy. His sovereign hand lovingly holds you through your failures and the failures of others.
A few days ago I was scrolling through my Timehop and I came across a tweet that I had retweeted from Ray Ortlund in which he said, “If your pastor loves the Lord, is faithful to his wife, preaches Jesus from the Bible, don’t hassle him. If he’s imperfect in some ways, don’t fix him. Who can flourish under that scrutiny? Instead, get down on your knees and thank God. He gave you your pastor (Eph 4:11-12).”
This is a good word no matter the season. Pastors reading that would give a hearty “amen” to such sage advice year-round. But there is no greater time to take this advice as a church member than right now.
We find ourselves in an incredibly strange and taxing time. I do not need to recount the ways in which our world causes us to be anxious, for you are well aware. At the height of our anxiety is the present pandemic which has caused us all to change our lifestyles for the greater good. But even something as impartial as an unseen virus has become political fodder and subject to conspiracy theories.
On top of the stress of coronavirus, opinions offered uncensored across social media. When it comes to the reopening of churches and how pastors lead during a pandemic, the opinions are legion. Some think churches should re-open ASAP, others think we should wait awhile. Guess who is caught in the middle of every opinion about what the church should and should not do in the midst of the pandemic?
Your pastor.
I have been privileged enough to study theology and pastoral ministry on the undergraduate, graduate, and doctoral level and I have not once taken a class called, “Pastoring in a Pandemic.” Why? Because no such class exists.
My point is thus: all of us are navigating this for the first time. There is no playbook on how to lead when a global pandemic is ravaging communities in which the best course of action is to do nothing and stay home. Questions abound concerning when is the right time to re-open the churches for in person gatherings. Is there a right or wrong answer? I don’t know, but I do know your pastor is under incredible stress about what is the right thing to do.
While coronavirus caused many people to slow down and do less, I promise this is not the case with your pastor. In fact, your pastor may be working harder than ever in an attempt to shepherd his flock from a distance all the while keeping them connected and provide content to minister to their souls. Add to this the prospect of opening too quickly and putting members at risk of illness and you have a “perfect storm” for pastoral stress.
Many members might not realize this, and they may be genuinely trying to help by offering critique or advice, or maybe they think they are the only ones doing it, not realizing he is hearing things from multiple people. That adds even more stress.
But wait, there’s more.
On top of all of that, your pastor and church are being compared to other churches in town. “Fourth Baptist Church has already re-opened, why haven’t we?” or the opposite, “Maybe we re-opened too fast. I’m not going to attend for a long time. Other churches are being more cautious.” Or the classicly unhelpful “People have been saying…” or “Brother Demas thinks we should have opened a long time ago and this is all blown out of proportion.”
What is your pastor to do? Pastoral ministry is already a highly criticized, stressful calling. Add a pandemic and you may have a pastor who is questioning his calling and/or is on the brink of burnout—a dangerous place to be, for sure.
I have seen pastors admit this on social media platforms. Many comments and replies are supportive, offering prayer and an ear. Others suggest the pastor should “suck it up,” or compare them to others who “have it much worse.” How helpful is that?
I tell you all of this to offer a simple plea in these strange times: give your pastor grace. He needs it, he hurts, he’s stressed about doing the right thing in a moment where there is no playbook, he loves his people, he wants what’s best for the physical and spiritual well-being of the people Christ has called him to shepherd, and he is trying his best. Would you give him grace?
Consider Hebrews 13:7, “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.”
Or, right before Paul talks about God giving churches pastors in order to equip them for the work of ministry, he commands his readers in Ephesus (and us) to patiently bear with one another in love (Eph 4:2).
So brothers and sisters, be patient, be loving, bear burdens (don’t add to them), and remember the grace you would want to receive and then give it to your pastor. He needs your support and encouragement now more than ever, would you lovingly offer it to him? Because he desperately wants to give it to you, but may find it difficult when he’s ministering with “groaning,” which “is not advantage to you.”
Give him grace.
I used to dream of skydiving. There was something about jumping out of an airplane that just seemed like the right thing to do (I was a teenager!). To my surprise, and after much persuading, I actually convinced my parents to pay for the big jump as a high school graduation gift.
I couldn’t believe it; dreams were coming true. I imagined standing at the open door of the plane nervous as ever, jumping into apparent nothingness, feeling the freedom rush by me at 9.8 m/s ², and experiencing a level of excitement that could only be matched by the fear of impending death at any moment – compelling, right? But I can’t truly be considered a thrill seeker because I never made the jump.
The price was paid, but I didn’t take advantage of the gift. Things came up, excuses were made, and I never pulled the trigger, or the chute in this instance. I didn’t experience the joy I imagined the jump would bring. And the sad thing was, I had no reason not to! Nothing stood in my way. I was like a child sitting in front of their presents on Christmas morning, refusing to open them for fear of disappointment or concern with what others would think of my reaction. And to this day, I still haven’t made the jump, which now seems like far less of a great idea than I originally imagined.
As I think back on this experience, I’m reminded that I’m not unique. So many people in the world fail to take full advantage of the gifts right in front of them. Whether it be with something as small as letting your coupon for a free Chick-Fil-A sandwich expire or forgetting to use your pre-paid monthly subscription service, we often fail to take full advantage of the good things in life that cost us nothing.
The same is true for Christians. As Richard Lovelace wrote:
“Only a fraction of the present body of professing Christians are solidly appropriating the justifying work of Christ in their lives… In their day-to-day existence they rely on their sanctification for justification…
Few know enough to start each day with a thoroughgoing stand upon Luther’s platform: you are accepted, looking outward in faith and claiming the wholly alien righteousness of Christ as the only ground for acceptance, relaxing in that quality of trust which will produce increasing sanctification as faith is active in love and gratitude.”
Christian, God has given you the greatest gift – union with Christ and all the benefits therein. In His life, we have fullness of joy, a peace that transcends understanding, a home in the love of the Father. Christ becomes our righteousness, wisdom, peace, and hope; and the Spirit becomes our comforter, friend, and helper. And yet, we don’t always appropriate the full benefits of this gift into our lives. We’re far too easily frustrated, frenetic, and frantic.
Jesus offers a word of correction for us on this journey with Him – “Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him” (Col. 2:8). Simple, yet profound. Basically, the way in which we received Christ as Lord and Savior should now be the operating principle for real life today.
In other words, what directs your head, heart, and hands today? Not only in the quiet moments, but when things go wrong. When you get cut off on the highway or when you get sick again, what moves and motivates your heart then? What would make you satisfied? Is it Jesus – His Word and His love for you? Or is it something lesser that moves you in those moments, such as a desire for different circumstances, the fear of man, or the pursuit of ease/comfort in life?
I’m convinced, along with Lovelace, that Christians oftentimes fall into the latter group rather than the former. Namely, we often operate out of a pursuit of something less than Jesus in hopes to gain something that only Jesus can give. This pursuit is evidenced by what seems to be an increased anxiety, dissatisfaction, and internal “striving after” or “rush” rather than “resting in” or “calm,” even for Christians!
What would it look like for us to pivot the focus of our hearts from the pursuit of something we don’t have to the enjoyment of all we do have in Christ? How might we take the first steps into this life with Christ and walk everyday with Him as our Lord, rather than something else directing our hearts?
While much could be said to answer these questions, I’ll simply offer one thought: We can only enjoy someone rightly to the extent that we know them truly. For Christians, then, we can only enjoy Jesus in our lives rightly – and find our satisfaction in Him alone rather than lesser things –to the extent that we know Him truly.
Christian, you have the Word of God. If you long to be satisfied in Christ alone, if you long to “relax into trust” by appropriating the work of Christ into your life, then engage with the Lord in His Word. Take full advantage of all the gifts given to you in Christ. Meditate on all His excellencies you see in the Word throughout the day, moment-by-moment. Trust that only He can provide you with what your soul most deeply desires. As you do, I believe you will grow to relax and delight in Christ as you were meant to all your days.
”3:1 The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. 2 Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife… He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?”
– 1 Timothy 3:1-2,4-5
There are a lot of pressures placed on the pastor’s wife and his children. While the wife may have partnered together with her husband to pursue a life of serving the church, there still can be a number of struggles for her in that calling. Same can be said for pastor’s kids.
Barnabas Piper in his book The Pastor’s Kid wrote “The life of a PK is complex, occasionally messy, often frustrating, and sometimes downright maddening. It can be a curse and a bane. But being a PK can also be a profound blessing and provide wonderful grounding for a godly life.”
He’s exactly right for children and even a pastor’s wife. As we consider praying for our pastors, let’s pray for his family too in some of these ways:
Lord, I pray that my pastor (for a church member)/ I (as a pastor) his wife and family will not grow weary in the calling you’ve given him. As a pastor’s family, may they experience your grace and mercy in seasons of uncertainty, stress, and hardship. Let their be a recognition of your blessings in this calling and a community of believers who give grace…
*These prayers are a part of our series of prayers for pastors during Pastor Appreciation Month. A new prayer will release every morning throughout the month for pastors and their members to reflect on and pray.
”And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. As it is written,
‘He has distributed freely, he has given to the poor; his righteousness endures forever.’”
– 2 Corinthians 9:8-9
From physical needs to spiritual needs, we can often forget that pastors and their families also go through times of need. As we continue to pray for our pastors and display appreciation for them, let’s consider how we can encourage them in times of need, whether that be physical, emotional, or spiritual support.
Here are a few ways to pray for your pastor:
Lord, I pray that my pastor (for a church member)/ I (as a pastor) will trust in You to provide in times of need for him and his family. Give him the confidence in your goodness and promises to provide and a willingness to display vulnerablitity when necessary…
*These prayers are a part of our series of prayers for pastors during Pastor Appreciation Month. A new prayer will release every morning throughout the month for pastors and their members to reflect on and pray.
“Unchurched Christian” is not a biblical category. Ask Paul, John, or Peter what they think about unchurched Christians and they would have responded, “Why are you calling them Christians, if they are not a part of the church?”
The New Testament does not have a vision of the Christian life outside of the church, the local church. But there are many professing Christians today who seek to be committed to Christ with no commitment to the church. They do not believe in organized religion. They claim the church is full of hypocrites. They have experienced church hurt. They cannot find a faithful, biblical church. They do not find the church necessary, supportive, or beneficial. So they follow Christ but forsake the church.
It is wrong. It is unbiblical. It is non-Christian. You cannot have a high view of Christ and a low view of the church at the same time. Jesus declared, “On this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it” (Matthew 16:18). The church belongs to Jesus. Christ himself is building the church. And nothing can defeat the church of Christ.
Christ is the head of the church. And he does not have out-of-body experiences. To submit to the authority of Jesus Christ over your life is to live in fellowship with the church.
Faith in God is practiced in spiritual community. The unbelieving society we live in regularly claims that faith is a private matter. But this is not the truth. Indeed, faith is a personal matter. As Jesus told Nicodemus, “You must be born again” (John 3:7). But personal faith is not private faith. True faith is lived in spiritual community with others. In the Old Testament, the faith community was the nation of Israel. In the New Testament, it is the church, a new community in Christ that transcends gender, race, or status (Galatians 3:28). To live in faith in Christ is to live in fellowship with the church.
The church is the household of God. Writing to Timothy in Ephesus, Paul called the church “the household of God, which is the church of the living God, a pillar and buttress of the truth” (1 Timothy 3:15). In salvation, we are born again and adopted into the family of God. But a newborn child needs to become a part of a household for nourishment, fellowship, and protection. The church is the household of faith (Galatians 6:10). More than that, it is God’s household. To reject the church is to reject the means of care the Lord has provided for his redeemed children.
Church membership brings assurance of salvation. A Christian is one who has professed saving-faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. But that personal profession must be made to and among the church for there to be true assurance. In the New Testament letters, the two essential marks of true conversion are faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and love for all the saints. Christian fellowship is as essential to true assurance as personal faith. Love for the saints demonstrates faith in Christ. “We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers,” wrote the Apostle John, “whoever does not love abides in death” (1 John 3:14).
The church is spiritually united to Jesus Christ. In the Gospels, Jesus called would-be disciples to follow him. But the actual relationship between Christ and his follows is greater, deeper, and higher than that: “Christ in you, the hope of glory” (Colossians 1:27). No other religion speaks of the relationship between its leader and adherents that way. But this is the spiritual union between Christ and the church. We are in Christ, and Christ is in us. This spiritual union with Christ is what binds us together as the church. The indwelling presence of the Life-Giver King resides within each us and has made us one in Christ.
The Lord Jesus Christ is the Head of the church. The church is often rejected because of things members of the church do or do not do. But no leader or member of the church is the standard by which we measure what the church should be. Christ is the standard. He is the head of the church. The church is the body of Christ. The church is safe and secure in him, as you cannot drown with your head above water. “The church is full of hypocrites,” it is complained. But Christ is no hypocrite! And if Christ is not a hypocrite, he is worthy of our trust and obedience, even if he tells us to go hang out with a bunch of hypocrites!
The church is the most valuable thing on earth. Paul exhorted the Ephesian elders, “Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the flock of God, which he obtained with his own blood” (Acts 20:28). The church is God’s flock, purchased by the blood of Christ. There is no institution in the world more valuable than that – not family, nor business, not government. There are many worthy causes in the world that deserve our support. But no worldly cause should usurp our commitment to the church for which Christ died. The church is the hope of the world.
The church is the outworking of God’s eternal purpose. This scripture is not a haphazard collection of stories, poetry, and letters. It is the unfolding of a divine plan. This plan of God was initiated in eternity past. It will be fully accomplished in eternity future. The church is essential to the eternal purpose of God. Paul declared “the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God who created all things, so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 3:9-10). The church is not incidental to the plan of God. It is the platform of the glory of God in the heavenly places.
The church is an earthly expression of heaven. What do you think heaven is like? To answer that question, turn to scripture, not near-death fantasies. For all we do not know about heaven, scripture makes it clear that heaven will be filled with the glory of God. In this regard, the church is to be a reflection of heaven on earth. Church growth experts advise pastors to shape the church around desires of the culture. But this only makes the church like the world. The church should be shaped around the character of God. Only the church can display the truth, love, and holiness of God, as it is in heaven.
Your sanctification is a community project. Hebrews counsels, “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Hebrews 10:24-25) This is why is we must not neglect to meet together with the church for corporate and public worship. Many Christians feel it is no big deal if they miss a Sunday or two. However, scripture teaches, “But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today,’ that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Hebrews 3:13).
On this episode of the FTC Podcast, we continue an occasional series on diverse missional contexts, as Jared Wilson interviews church planter and author Justin Buzzard about gospel ministry in the Silicon Valley of California.
”But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”
– Acts 1:8
Many pastors these days have a presence that expands beyond their local community. That might be on social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, through a blog site, or in their connections with other ministry and business leaders. In and through any of those ways, pastors, just like all believers, should live a life that reflects Christ in all areas of life including in more broad platforms and opportunities beyond just their local communities.
As we continue praying for pastors, let’s pray for their witness to the local community. Here are a few ways to pray for him:
Lord, I pray that my pastor (for a church member)/ I (as a pastor) will reflect Christ as he engages the world through social media, travel, etc. Give him opportunities to share the Gospel, reflect how you’ve transformed him through the cross, and allow the witness of the church to be one that a globa and missional…
*These prayers are a part of our series of prayers for pastors during Pastor Appreciation Month. A new prayer will release every morning throughout the month for pastors and their members to reflect on and pray.
