I Don’t Want To Be A Pastor Anymore

By / Oct 13

Twenty-something months into pastoring through this pandemic on a Thursday afternoon I had to reckon with the thought, “I don’t want to do this anymore.” I don’t want to be a pastor anymore. In 18 years of vocational ministry and nearly 8 years as pastor here, there have been times of burnout and leading from a place of emptiness. But this was different. This had been a season where every decision feels like a bad one and the Church seems divided on every issue imaginable. I wanted out. If “bearing with one another in love” met “seventy times seven,” I felt like I had reached the tipping point. I was done. It wasn’t one thing in particular. It’s the endless drip, drip, drip that had finally worn me down.

I hadn’t been sleeping well. I began to be short with my kids and distant from my wife. And I couldn’t see an end in sight. With the Fall approaching and everyone getting back into their routine after Summer, this should be the time when we are ramping things up. But I was drowning and I simply didn’t think I had it in me. And I didn’t need anybody’s Jesus jukes or platitudes.

So, I talked to a friend. Then my wife (I know… I should’ve talked to her first. But it’s that kind of constant criticism that led me to this place) Jenny & I went for a walk. I vented. She lovingly listened. We got home. Talked some more. I cried. A lot. I didn’t know what to do. I love my church and I love what God lets me do, but I knew I just couldn’t keep doing what I’ve been doing.

Then came the gracious ultimatum from my wife: “Either you can talk to the elders or I will.” So… I reached out to these faithful brothers that I get to shepherd alongside, told them I was struggling, and asked them to pray for me. They did, and I am so grateful for them. I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for God’s grace shown to me through these brothers.

Over the next few days I met with a few of these brothers individually then we met together as a group like we do every Tuesday at 6:15am. I was honest. They let me vent. They offered encouragement & correction where it was needed. And we prayed.

Sometimes it’s in difficult days like those that God reminds me of His Faithfulness. Here’s a few lessons I learned:

  1. There’s still work to do in my heart.

My nagging, Narcissistic Messiah Complex still needs to be put to death (among many other besetting sins). Colossians 3:5a reminds us to “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you.” By God’s grace, I’ve come a long way with this, but the Spirit reminded me He has yet to complete the good work He has started in me (Phil. 1:6). And the know-it-all, please everyone, fix everything because it all depends on my nature that shows up sometimes still has a ways to go! But I’m confident, The Spirit will complete that work as well!

  1. My wife is a gracious gift that I often overlook.

In Andrew Peterson’s song “My One Safe Place” he writes about his wife, “And I know that you’re broken too, but you are a sacrament God has spoken through. He has spoken through you.” This certainly wasn’t the first time God has spoken through Jenny. I know it won’t be the last. But I thank God for the grace He has shown me through my wife over the last 17 years. She really is my safe place.

  1. A Grace-filled Church Culture shines even on the dark days.

In a meeting several years ago that was tumultuous, to say the least, our worship pastor, Josh Hilliker said something that has defined us in many ways since that day. In the midst of some tough times, he said, “The Gospel frees us to have hard conversations.” Man, has that stuck with me! And I thank God that though our Church isn’t perfect, He has shaped us into a people that are free to be transparent. To be honest. To have hard conversations. When I was struggling with whether or not I had it in me to continue on I didn’t run from our elders, I ran toward them (with my wife’s nudging, of course). But even that is a gift. My wife, while I was in despair, loved me and then said without hesitation, call the elders! I’ve been in Churches where that wouldn’t have been the case. But not here. Even though we have a long way to go as a Church, God has created a culture where brokenness, transparency, and honesty are welcomed, not shunned. That has been a salve for my weary soul!

Dear Pastor, you are not alone! A lot of us are struggling. Some of us have thought seriously about quitting. But don’t give up. The God that began this good work in you is going to complete it! So breathe. It’s all gonna be alright.

And if you’re not a pastor but you are a Christian, check on your pastor. There’s a good chance he’s struggling. He probably needs a little encouragement. Or a lot. Just let him know you love him and appreciate him. It’ll mean the world to him.

I’ll talk to Jenny first next time.



Episode 181: Jason K. Allen on the MBTS Turnaround

By / Oct 12

On this episode of the FTC Podcast, Jared Wilson talks with Dr. Jason Allen, president of Midwestern Seminary, on the occasion of his 10th anniversary at the seminary and his new book Turnaround, laying out the leadership principles applied in the extraordinary comeback he led at the institution.



Day 12 – Thankful Spirit

By / Oct 12

”Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!”
– Psalm 106:1

Day 12 – A Thankful Spirit

Oftentimes in life, reality doesn’t quite meet our expectations. An unexpected personal trial or a serious phone call at an inopportune time can tempt us to complain or grow in bitterness. This remains true for pastors and ministry leaders in the church. We must be quick to remember in these moments all of God’s promises.

Remember that God has promised to use all things for the good of those who love Him. In this way, we can go through life with faith in God as our Good Father, trusting that no matter how much I’m thrown off by this circumstance, He is not. He is purposing it for our good. And for that reason, we can be thankful. A thankful spirit views everything as a gift from God.

As you pray for your pastor today, consider praying for him in these ways:

  • Trust in God’s sovereign grace; loosen his grip on his own plans
  • Be quick to prayer when tempted to complain
  • That he would be known for his gratitude and speaking of God’s kindness would be normal
  • Ability to lead others to regularly give thanks in all circumstances

Prayer Prompt

Lord, I pray that my pastor (for a church member)/ I (as a pastor) would always be growing in his gratitude to you. Give him a renewed awareness of your sovereign grace in his life, and show him how you ordain all things for his good and the good of the church. Help him to lead others to do this as well for your glory…

*These prayers are a part of our series of prayers for pastors during Pastor Appreciation Month. A new prayer will release every morning throughout the month for pastors and their members to reflect on and pray.



A Prayer for the Pastor’s Wife

By / Oct 11

I am devoting much of my prayer time these days to wives of pastors. Those I’ve met very recently as well as those I’ve known for many years. Those who with their husbands have very large and/or very successful ministries as well as those whose ministries are struggling. Those who are happy and satisfied in their role as well as those who are feeling defeated, disillusioned and unqualified. And all of those somewhere in between. The pastor’s wife is such a challenging and such an important role to fill, and I’m praying with all of my heart for refreshment and joy and fulfillment within this role.

A Prayer for Pastors’ Wives

. . . I pray for authentic, loving, non-judgmental, supportive friendships

. . . I pray for grace beyond understanding when she must share her husband with those who are unkind to him

. . . I pray for freedom from guilt when she is unable to do ALL that is expected of her from dozens and dozens (or maybe even hundreds or thousands) of people

. . . I pray for happy surprises and unexpected blessings on a regular basis

. . . I pray for strength when her husband walks away again to care for someone other than her

. . . I pray for understanding when her husband speaks gently and patiently to those he counsels but becomes frustrated with her for needing similar counsel

. . . I pray for creativity and energy in loving her husband well in order to minimize his stress and make him happy

. . . I pray for tender moments with her Savior that remind her that her ministry is for His sake

. . . I pray that she will represent Christ well even when she just doesn’t feel like it

. . . I pray against doubt when her ministry is difficult and Satan tries to convince her this means she is making a mistake (as though God never calls his people into difficult situations)

. . . I pray for supernatural amounts of energy at times when she needs it most but has nothing within her human strength to draw from

. . . I pray for a husband who understands that he shouldn’t sacrifice his family on the altar of ministry

. . . I pray for Scripture to come alive inside her heart during moments of temptation

. . . I pray against bitterness and resentment

. . . I pray against laziness and selfishness

. . . I pray that the sanctification she recognizes in her own heart will bring incredible encouragement

. . . I pray for rest

. . . I pray for a faith that is far greater than her limited human imagination

. . . I pray for forgiveness–that she will ask for it willingly, give it freely, and receive it graciously

. . . I pray that she will get to witness miracles and recognize them as such

. . . I pray that she will always believe herself beautiful no matter what her physical condition because she is created in the image of God

. . . I pray for a common primary vision with her husband so that they are consistently working toward the same goal

. . . I pray against gossip, whether it be from her lips or against her or her husband

. . . I pray that her husband will treasure Christ and only Christ more greatly than her so that he can treasure her well

. . . I pray for relationships that sharpen and support simultaneously

. . . I pray for fun

. . . I pray for biblically grounded mentors and Christ-centered, wise counsel

. . . I pray for quality time with her husband and children when quantity isn’t possible

. . . I pray that every day will bring a deeper understanding of God’s unfathomable, unconditional, unchanging love for her, and that she will not just know about it but truly believe it

. . . I pray that the approval she has in Christ will be enough when her work tends to go unnoticed or unappreciated by those around her

. . . I pray for abundant happy days, but I pray for all-surpassing joy even on the not so happy days

. . . I pray that she will be respected but not elevated

. . . I pray that she will be proud of her husband but not idolize him

. . . I pray that Hebrews 1:3-4 will overflow her heart with hope

. . . I pray for freedom in Christ

. . . I pray against guilty feelings when she does get to relax from time to time

. . . I pray that her memory will trap moments of love and laughter like a vice grip and release moments of worry and distress like water through a sieve

. . . I pray that the ultimate cry of her heart will always be to honor Christ and that she will remain on the path to a long obedience in that direction even though she will fail and take a few steps backward at times

. . . I pray for rich community and fellowship among solid believers firmly rooted in Christ

. . . I pray that the words Abba Father will mean more to her heart than to her head

. . . I pray that she will always know that Jesus Christ is under her as her foundation, in front of her as her shepherd, and within her as her righteousness

. . . I pray that she will be eternally fascinated and astonished by the Gospel and that it will transform every aspect of her life.



Day 11 – Physical Health

By / Oct 11

“But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.”
– 1 Corinthians 9:27

Day 11 – Physical Health

Paul David Tripp has written on the importance of pastors giving serious consideration and action to pursuing physical health. In his book, Lead, he describes said a pastor or ministry leader should ”see his physical body as an instrument of his calling, and because he does, he gives it proper attention and care.”

This topic has become seemingly more popular to discuss with workouts like CrossFit becoming mainstream, but not everyone can or should CrossFit. However, as Paul David Tripp wrote, pastors should see their physical body as an instrument that can be used by God for the sake of the Gospel and respond accordingly. This may look different depending on a multitude of things, but let’s pray for our pastors as they consider how to care for themselves so that they can for their people:

  • Commitment to stewarding their physical health for the sake of their family, church, and the Gospel
  • Ability to carve out time in their week to routinely focus on physical health
  • Stamina to endure the stresses and physical needs of pastoral ministry

Prayer Prompt

Lord, I pray that my pastor (for a church member)/ I (as a pastor) may see how their physical health can be used as an instrument by you God. I ask that you give them the ability to grow in strength and stamina to serve your church and their family. May you prolong their days serving you through physical wellness…



Why I’ve (Mostly) Switched to the CSB

By / Oct 10

First things first: Because I know some folks may wonder, this is not a sponsored post or a requested endorsement in any way. The good folks of the CSB have no idea I am writing this post, so there’s been no incentive from them for me to write it.

I’ve spent the last 15 years or so using the ESV translation as my primary Bible translation for personal study and preaching/writing, but I have gradually begun using the CSB more and more over the last few years and I’ve now come to the point of almost exclusive use of the CSB in my daily reading, my writing, and my preaching. I’m probably at about 90% CSB use at this point and make exceptions pretty much only when publishers require it or churches where I’m preaching have another translation as their primary text. Here are a few reasons why I’ve made the switch:

1. My church’s translation of choice is the CSB.

About 5 years ago, Liberty Baptist Church switched from the ESV to the CSB as our official translation of choice. We ordered all new pulpit Bibles and all of our preaching is from the CSB. So when I preach locally, of course I am following suit, but I also want to become more and more familiar with the translation most of our people are becoming more and more familiar with. Using the CSB has me looking at the same words my church is looking at.

2. The CSB is better for a wider range of hearers.

I have come to love the ESV and still very much love that translation. But after the last several years spent in both translations, I cannot deny the language and often the sentence structure of the ESV is more sophisticated and, frankly, sometimes a bit dense. For comparison: the ESV is translated at about a 10th grade reading level. The CSB is at 7th grade reading level. The CSB just uses plainer language. So writing and especially preaching from the CSB demands less heavy lifting from the audience in grasping the text. I still favor the ESV in a few instances — for example, I still prefer the ESV’s “behold” texts, where the CSB invariably opts for the (in my opinion) lesser “look” or “see” — but I prefer the CSB’s ease of access in “giving the meaning” (Neh. 8:8 — “giving the sense” in the ESV) of the text to a wider, multi-generational audience.

3. The CSB is refreshing my personal approach to the text.

Honestly, this would be true of a switch to any solid Bible translation. Most of the verses I’ve had memorized since childhood are in the translations of my upbringing — mostly the NASB, but sometimes NKJV. Coming to the ESV years ago and spending the better part of my adult years in it has also brought to my memory many texts in that translation. I still love them. But it’s been good for me to encounter even familiar texts in new language. It makes me, in a sense, see the texts with new eyes and encounter them in fresh ways. I still use the ESV for my first-thing-in-the-morning Bible reading, mainly because I read from my phone at that time, and I find the ESV app more pleasing and more easy to navigate than the CSB’s, but my deeper study and reading has been freshened up by a translation switch, which helps me avoid the temptation of assuming my grasp of any given text. Switching to the CSB has made my devotional study feel new again.

Your mileage may vary, of course, and obviously we have an embarrassment of riches in our translation choices compared to our ancestors and even our brethren in lesser-resourced parts of the world. It’s a blessing from God that despite all of the church’s problems today, we have access to numerous good translations of God’s word. These are just some of the reasons I’ve made the switch to the CSB.



Day 10 – Love for Family

By / Oct 10

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…”
– Ephesians 5:25

Day 10 – Love for Family

As a pastor’s kid, I’ve seen firsthand the toll pastoral ministry can take on a marriage and family, especially when ministry trumps family. It can be deceptively easy for pastors to be so consumed by their responsibilities that their family suffers. But God gives us a different picture, one where being a loving husband and father should take priority over ministry. That’s what is written in Ephesians. Husbands are to love their wives like Christ loves the church.

Remember, Christ is the head of the church, not you, so there’s freedom to love your family and prioritize their needs first.

As you pray for your pastor, consider praying for him in these ways:

  • Love for wife/family is rightly prioritized over role
  • Love that is evident and can be seen.
  • Ability to safeguard family from the dangers of ministry
  • Patience, trust, and hope for those seeking marriage or starting a family

Prayer Prompt

Lord, I pray that my pastor (for a church member)/ I (as a pastor) will remember one of the first callings on his life, to be a loving and selfless husband/father. I ask that this love will be evident and clear and not disingenuous. Give him the ability to protect and care for his family well, even in ministry…



Day 9 – Strength to Endure

By / Oct 9

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.”
– James 1:2-3

Day 9 – Strength to Endure

What verses 2-3 describe in the life of the ministry leader is easier said than done. Throughout this month, there have been countless stories of pastors who have endured trials of various kinds. From church division to tragic events in the life of the church, pastors are at the forefront of navigating these trials with and for their people.

As you pray for your pastor, consider praying for him in these ways:

  • A joy that’s rooted in the Gospel
  • Strength to endure in the trials of ministry
  • Trust in the vision and sovereignty of God
  • A community to encourage them in the seasons of trials, uncertainty, and suffering

Prayer Prompt

Lord, I pray that my pastor (for a church member)/ I (as a pastor) will take James 1 to heart and actively seek to apply it to their lives. May joy be present even in the hardest times, whether personally or pastorally. Give him the strength to endure by trusting in you…



Day 8 – Servant Leadership

By / Oct 8

“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
– Mark 10:45

Day 8 – Servant Leadership

In Mark 10, we see that Jesus came to serve and sacrificially give His life for our salvation. The heart of a pastor should reflect the heart of Jesus in the same way Scripture describes Jesus’ heart towards his people.

Pastors should be leaders who seek to serve their people, not be served by their people. That’s servant leadership, imitating the heart of Christ by sacrificially serving the people of God in the manner in which Jesus did.

Today let’s pray our pastor may lead as Jesus did by considering these things:

  • Christ’s example of leadership may be personally experienced by our pastors
  • That their leadership would be sacrificial and servant-minded
  • The community around them would foster an environment of accountability
  • A commitment to servant leadership would not remain with the pastor, but spread across the whole church

Prayer Prompt

Lord, I pray that my pastor (for a church member)/ I (as a pastor) as he leads your church. May I first recognize what a noble and challenging task that is, especially in how his leadership influences and impacts the church. Guard his heart from a desire to be served and instead, give him a heart set on serving in his home, in the church, and to the world around him…

*These prayers are a part of our series of prayers for pastors during Pastor Appreciation Month. A new prayer will release every morning throughout the month for pastors and their members to reflect on and pray.



Day 7 – Contentment in Ministry

By / Oct 7

“The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.”
– Psalm 23:1

Day 7 – Contentment in Ministry

In a world desperate to entice us to evaluate ourselves by the lives of others, contentment in ministry is crucial to faithful ministry in the 21st century. Comparison corrupts contentment and robs us of our ability to find contentment in Christ and His calling on our lives.

For some pastors, contentment may be easy to experience, for others it may be the snare that affects their ability to serve the church. Regardless, our contentment and confidence in the context we’ve been placed should be rooted in trusting the Good Shepherd.

As you pray for your pastor, consider praying for him in these ways:

  • Self-awareness to know when discontentment creeps in
  • To realize the ministry they’ve been given is from the Lord
  • Ability to see the big and small ways the Lord is working in their context
  • A contentment that does not lead to complacency

Prayer Prompt

Lord, I pray that my pastor (for a church member)/ I (as a pastor) will trust you in the ministry context you’ve given him, regardless of size or prominence. May his contentment be found in Christ and the hope He brings, not in worldly pleasures of church statistics. Allow him to find his satisfaction and contentment in You alone…