When Our Children Ask for Stones, Let's Give Them Bread

by Jared C. Wilson November 11, 2015

Christianity Today reported that post-evangelical provocateur Brian McLaren officiated the same-sex wedding of his son. Denny Burk had some good reflections, as did Carl Trueman. There are some obvious "talking points" to engage in here, about the trajectory of McLaren's hermeneutic, slippery slopes and all that. The reality is that you can't close the flue and not expect the room to fill with smoke. But upon reading this news I was immediately taken back to this bit in the Gospels about Jesus' family:

And his mother and his brothers came, and standing outside they sent to him and called him. And a crowd was sitting around him, and they said to him, "Your mother and your brothers are outside, seeking you." And he answered them, "Who are my mother and my brothers?" And looking about at those who sat around him, he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother."—Mark 3:31-35

Jesus is providing a foundation and a watershed at the same time, a connecting point for his other provocative statements about letting the dead bury the dead (Luke 9:59-60), bringing division to families (Matt. 10:34-37), hating mom and dad on his account (Luke 14:26), no marriage in heaven (Matt. 22:30), and how his mom ain't so special (Luke 11:27-28). We also get some grounding for Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 7:29.

Confronted with the well-meaning concerns of familial loyalty, Jesus will not take his eyes off the cross before him. He knows God is building a new family, one that is eternal, one that is centered on God as Abba and the Son of God as the good older brother, the finally worthy of the honor who in his gospel is not ashamed to call his brethren brethren (Heb. 2:11). So the warnings are strong, the wording is harsh. Jesus doesn't hate his family. But he loves his Father and the will of his Father more. He wants to honor the will of God more than he wants to satisfy the will of his family.

This is a good word to us familyolaters. We take what most of us consider the most important thing in our lives and give it the weight of our worship in a way that is both dishonorable and unsustainable. And we end up living "Thus saith the family" rather than "Thus saith the Lord."

What happens when one worships his wife? He harms her. What happens when we make our children the center of our universe? We harm them. That is true hatred. Trading in the cross for the thin gruel of temporary satisfaction, appetites, compulsions, is the worst thing you could do to somebody. And when it comes down to seeking one's happiness over their holiness, we aid and abet the theft of their eternal joy. This is what Brian McLaren has done. I hope for the grace not to follow suit at a million different turning points, big and little, as my kids grow up. I know the temptation will be great.

Christ would have us focused on him, loving him above all else. And when all else, including our beloved families, asks us to betray Christ and his word in order to serve them, we face Abraham's excruciating dilemma. But pledging our hearts to heaven, we will not look back to Egypt or Sodom, trusting that true mothers, brothers, sisters, sons, and daughters are those who follow Jesus and that obeying God is worth any cost, including hurting the feelings of those we love.

When our children ask for stones, let's give them bread.