For the Church | How Small Groups Can Embrace Fellowship and Hospitality

As Christians, we should recognize that discipleship should happen in community.

Remember, we can only grow as Jesus shaped disciples in community. We can’t do this alone. We have been created in the image of a Trinitarian God—he has eternally existed in community. To be fully alive then, we must pursue Christ in the context of committed relationships. In the previous article, I described two rhythms of life-giving community groups: Word and prayer

If there is a fundamental need to have a place of belonging in our lives, then our community groups could be the primary place of Christian formation and maturation. But it’s not enough to just be in a community group, we have to do life together.

The Rhythm of Fellowship—Connecting with One Another

The rhythm of fellowship is the habit of gathering together, welcoming one another into our lives, and genuinely caring for each other. Before we even open the Scriptures or pray or evangelize, we should join ourselves to a likeminded, Christ centered community—if we want to follow Jesus’s pattern.

Fellowship is the context for the other practices—Word and prayer, and hospitality. In my experience, a group that struggles with this rhythm will always struggle with the other two. But if a community group truly embraces life together, they have a much better chance of seeing transformation through living the Word, meeting with God in prayer, and creating space for outsiders.

So what might this look like?

In my current community group, we gather every Wednesday evening and about one Saturday each month. But the group isn’t a meeting time or place, it is truly a family.

First Wednesday: Meet at our house for fellowship, Scripture discussion, and prayer
Second Wednesday: Meet at our house to spend time together as a group
Third Wednesday: Meet at our house for fellowship, Scripture discussion, and prayer
Saturday: Go to a local park for a hike and then lunch together
Fourth Wednesday: Ladies meet at a local ice cream store for fellowship and accountability, men stay at our house and talk while playing with the kids

This type of schedule fits our people well, and gives us the opportunities to build relationships and reach outsiders. For example, the second Wednesday would be the ideal time to invite a family from the neighborhood. At my middle son’s fifth birthday recently, we invited our next-door neighbors (who also have young children) to come celebrate with us. They had never accepted an invitation to visit our group previously, but our kid’s birthday party was an easy first step for them. They have since joined us on other evenings and attended a Sunday gathering with us as well!

These exact gatherings may not fit your people and context. You may not be able to meet weekly, or you might be able to do all three of the rhythms each week. Once you know your people and those you are trying to reach, adapt your gathering times to make the most of these three rhythms each month.

The Rhythm of Hospitality—Connecting with Outsiders

When we look at the gospels, we discover that Jesus is the model of hospitality. Jesus’ public ministry began with his miracle at Cana—turning barrels of water into wine at a wedding. He spent his time eating with “sinners and tax collectors,” receiving gifts from marginalized women, encouraging widows, playing with children, and attending all major cultural events and parties.

Even though he didn’t own a home, Jesus was the most hospitable man to ever live. How is this possible?

Meals with Jesus

In the gospel of Matthew, the author says, “The Son of Man came…” How would we finish that question? Would we say, “The Son of Man came preaching and teaching”? Or perhaps, “healing and casting out demons”? Or maybe, “establishing his kingdom”?

Matthew writes, “The Son of Man came eating and drinking” (Matthew 11:19).

Jesus seems to be eating throughout all four gospel narratives. Consider examples from Luke alone:

Jesus eats with tax collectors and sinners at Levi’s house (Luke 5).

Jesus is anointed at the home of a Pharisee during a meal (Luke 7).

Jesus feeds five thousand people (Luke 9).

Jesus eats in the home of Mary and Martha (Luke 10).

Jesus condemns the Pharisees and religious leaders over a meal (Luke 11).

Jesus urges people to invite the poor to their meals, not just their friends (Luke 14).

Jesus invites himself to dinner with Zacchaeus (Luke 19).

Jesus gathers his disciples in the upper room for the Last Supper (Luke 22).

Jesus, risen from the grave, asks for a plate of fish (Luke 24).

One commentator notes, “Jesus is either going to a meal, at a meal, or coming from a meal.” Another scholar jokes Jesus “eats his way through the gospels.”¹

Jesus’s meals are full of significance. Few acts are more expressive of friendship and acceptance than a shared meal. In every culture, meals are a form of hospitality—regardless of whose house you’re at. In fact, our English word “companion” comes from two Latin words meaning “bread” and “together.”²

Why are Jesus’s meals, then, so significant? Jesus’s meals are physical demonstrations of the grace he offers to the outsider. Jesus creates space for outsiders and identifies with them by sharing a meal with them.

Creating Space for Outsiders

What is hospitality? It’s the distinctly Christian practice of creating space for outsiders. Hospitality, in a biblical sense, includes:

Creating space in our homes for our brothers and sisters in Christ

Creating space in our schedules and hearts for those who don’t know the Lord

Creating space in our groups for our neighbors and co-workers

Creating space in our lives for the poor and marginalized

Creating space in our city for people to be broken, vulnerable and genuine

Just as Christ came to us who were once outsiders, so the Church can open its heart and doors to those who don’t know him. As one Christian author put it:

Hospitality in Practice

Let’s pause now and consider our own stories. At one point, we were all visitors to a church and didn’t know more than a person or two. How might our lives be different at this point if no one had invited us in and given us a “place at the table”?

Every one of us has been the recipient of the hospitality of others, and now we extend that same hospitable spirit to the next generation of church visitors—and to our own neighbors, co-workers, and friends.

This vision of hospitality is more than mere entertainment of course. Entertaining—putting out our best food, showing off our home, and inviting our most attractive guests—puts the focus on us. Hospitality, on the other hand, puts the focus on another meal—the eternal feast.

When we invite our neighbors over for dinner, when we take time to join our coworkers for lunch or “happy hour,” or when we offer a cold drink to a stranger, we are demonstrating the grace of God to one another.

Meals serve us in several ways: They nourish us, slow us down, allow for conversation, and build bridges with others.

But to think of it another way: Jesus’s meals weren’t just for something else. Everything else—life, work, family, suffering, everything—was for a meal with Jesus. In other words, all of human history, from creation to the cross to the new creation, happened so that we might have eternal communion with Christ.

In the next article, we’ll begin looking at how these discipleship rhythms can naturally lead to healthy, sustainable group planting and multiplication.

^{1. See Tim Chester, A Meal with Jesus: Discovering Grace, Community and Mission Around the Table.}
^{2. Chester, A Meal with Jesus.}
^{3. Henri Nouwen, Reaching Out.}

*This article is Part 4 of an eight-part series on community groups and their importance that will run this summer. Read the full series here.