Created for Companionship

Have you ever seen a mother or even a father cry on their child’s wedding day? Some parents feel downcast when their son or daughter moves out of their home for the first time to go and attend college. Some spouses are saddened when their partner leaves for a work trip lasting several weeks or months. Moments like these reveal how deeply connected we become to those we love—and that’s how God designed it from the very beginning.

Genesis 2:18–23 narrates how God brought all the animals He had made to Adam in pairs so that he would give them names. Yet Adam himself had no partner, which prompted God to say, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (v 18). It was part of God’s original plan to create Eve, but He wanted Adam to feel a strong need for her first so that when He eventually presented Eve to him—as a father hands over his daughter to her groom on the wedding day—Adam would cherish her.

From the beginning, there has always been a longing for companionship and association in each of us. Even our Lord Jesus Christ surrounded Himself with disciples and close companions during His earthly ministry.

The stronger the bond with someone, the heavier the pain when they pass away. A man who hates his wife is not likely to miss her when she dies, whereas a man who loves his wife will be shattered by her death. Even though we may know that a loved one is going to heaven when they die, we will still be heartbroken when they’re gone because we will no longer be able to enjoy their companionship here on earth.

To demonstrate that aspect of His own humanity, Christ wept over the death of Lazarus and the anguish it brought to his family (John 11:35). That is why the Scripture enjoins us to “mourn with those who mourn” (Rom. 12:15). Doing so does not imply a lack of faith, but it reflects our capacity for empathy.

Grieving with Hope

Nevertheless, the Bible urges us to “not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope” (1 Thess. 4:13). While it is natural to express sorrow over the loss of a loved one, there remains hope for us even in loss. For those who are in Christ, we can encourage ourselves and rejoice in our spirit, knowing that they’re now with the Lord and blessed with eternal tranquility in heaven. For those who die apart from Christ, our grief is marked by sorrow and sobriety, yet even then we are not without hope in God’s justice and mercy, nor without comfort in His sovereign goodness. Certainly, no amount of peace, comfort, pleasure, or luxury on earth can compare with what awaits those in Christ!

Our Lord Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Losing people very dear to us is part of that trouble. Our grief will be deep and our pain will be devastating, but in the midst of it all, Christ wants us to know that He shares in our grief and pain (Heb. 4:15; 5:7).

In John 16:33, Jesus unequivocally acknowledges the distressing circumstances that will sometimes confront us in life, but His intention is not for us to fixate on them. Rather, He wants us to focus our attention on the fact that He has overcome for us. The troubles of life may throw us into emotional turmoil, but Jesus has gained victory for us.

As a result of the victory He won on the cross, grief cannot incapacitate us. We can receive grace from the Father—through faith in Christ Jesus—to move on triumphantly, so that, like Prophet Habakkuk, we can say in our time of sorrow,

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights. (Hab. 3:17–19)

Near the Brokenhearted

The Bible assures us that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Ps. 34:18). A grieving heart takes time to heal, but God will not allow us to be consumed by our sorrow. In our times of anguish, if we hold fast to Him, the Lord will always give us cause to testify, “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy” (Ps. 30:11).