Previously I offered 5 ways husbands can practically love their wives. Here now, wives, are 5 ways you can love your husbands:
1. Become a woman who is strong in character and whose identity is secure in God.
Our spouse is a gift from God, there to encourage, support, and affirm us. But our spouse is not the primary source of our encouragement, support, or affirmation. Your husband will fail you (I imagine he has in many different ways), but God will not fail you. Find your security in Him above your husband. By God’s grace, He will use your spouse to ease some of the insecurities that you experience, but not all of them!
2. Pay attention to the way that you talk to and about your husband.
This does not mean that you never speak about your husband’s flaws and failures. It certainly does not mean you withhold truth and stuff down your frustrations. But this does mean you seek to build him up with your words rather than tear him down. It’s not tolerating or ignoring sinful behavior or childishness, but it does mean you are more direct and specific with him than you are with your girlfriends or mom.
3. Tell your husband "thank you" for his work and growth.
This really goes both directions. A flourishing marriage is never the product of just one spouse. Admiration and gratitude fuel both husbands and wives. And yet, there’s still something about work that’s intrinsic to a man. In Genesis 3, we read that the curse placed on the man was connected to his work. Designed to be life-giving, now work is anxiety-ridden. Encourage your husband in his work. A simple, heart-felt thank you can be a powerful motivation for him to persevere in whatever challenges he may be experiencing in his work.
4. Make sex a priority.
I know, in this day and age, with abuse and all the crazy perversion in our culture, sex is a challenge for married couples. One of the ways that God has ordained that we stay connected with our spouse is through sex. How often? I don’t know. But do you know your husband’s desires? Have you talked about expectations regarding frequency?
5. Relate to your husband as a friend; not as a child, a parent, or business partner.
I love what Tim and Kathy Keller say in The Meaning of Marriage: “[Spiritual friendship] is eagerly helping one another to know, serve, love, and resemble God in deeper and deeper ways.” That’s what we’re after in marriage. Pursuing that vision requires us to set aside our superiority and inferiority complexes and cool distance.
Originally published at DarrinPatrick.org