On Valentine’s day, my newsfeed is always full of beautiful pictures of couples who want to display their love to the world. I love it. I am a romantic and I always enjoy seeing other people share words of love for their spouse. However, this year on Valentine’s day, I thought about my first year of marriage and how it was a dose of reality it was for my Shakespeare-quoting, rose-petal-sprinkling heart.
I grew up in the 90’s and early 2000’s, so, I thought the world was my oyster. I thought there might be a possibility that the concept for the movie Truman Show was actually based on my life and the whole world enjoyed my version, the Jordan Show. I brought that baggage into marriage, and when my husband didn't complete my cute little story, I was a shell-shocked. That’s how it’s supposed to go, right? You get married, then your finally satisfied. Maybe instead it’s when you finish college, have children, get your dream job, dream home, dream car, or fill in your heart idol of choice.
This is a convenient bait-and-switch from the enemy. “Pursue this,” he says, “this will end all your longing.” Then, when it does not, he shines the glimmering mirage of another empty oasis to lure our thirsty soul.
However, when we put this weight of satisfaction in our marriage we miss the point. We miss the beauty of the gift God has given us. Sorry, Jerry McGuire, but another human being was never meant to complete you and your lady will suffer for the weight of that statement. Relationships struggle, couples argue, and it is painful at times. Anyone who tells you otherwise isn’t in much of a relationship, or they're lying.
But it's also awesome. My husband is amazing. He's incredibly patient with me, kind to me, generous with me; the list goes on and on. It’s awesome because we get to share love together. It's a love that reflects Christ and his Church. We get to engage in a selfless, other-exalting relationship that frees us from our focus on ourselves. We get to consider the other more significant than ourself and enjoy the other as the gift that they are. We don't expect them to make us happy, although I spend so many days with a smile on my face because of the gift my husband is to me. We don't expect them to be our sense of peace, although God often gives me comfort through my husband's arms wrapped around me. We don't expect them to solve the world’s problems for us, although my husband did just run to Wal-mart for a plunger after a Hot Wheels car clogged the toilets.
Our thirsts will never be quenched until they are drowned in the all satisfying love of Christ, the joy of knowing Him, and the peace of his justification. On the days that I don’t feel these realities, I don’t blame my husband for his fault in my emotions. I preach the gospel to myself and remind my heart to look to Christ, the author and finisher of my faith.