The Lord has been carrying me through a realization process over the last few years that have taken me quite a while to recognize. I suppose it started well before I understood what He was doing, and I'm sure it will continue throughout the rest of my life. In my limited vocabulary and ability to write/convey my thoughts, here is the best way I can explain it– Maybe you can relate.
I have discovered that there is quite a massive chasm between trusting God to do and trusting God to be. So what's the difference? Well. . . Let's see if I can explain it this way:
Let's suppose you are an employer. You have 2 employees. One is excellent at follow-through, but only if you give a list of your expectations and a fully detailed description as to how to carry out each task. When you do this, your employee gets the job done each time, and you are happy with their performance. This is someone who will always do what you need them to do. BUT–you wouldn't dare leave them to their own devices, because without your input, you're just not sure they could handle the job.
The second employee is a person you fully trust to get the job done with or without your help. You know that this person understands your needs and takes full responsibility for making sure those needs are met. You don't always fully agree with this employee, but because you know they have your best interest at heart, you allow them the freedom to make their own decisions because you trust their motivation. This is someone you are fully comfortable leaving in control while you go on vacation, etc. This is someone who will be who you need them to be so that they don't need your list.
Which do you suppose more closely resembles your relationship with God? For me, for way too long, it was the first. I "believed" that God would always fulfill His promises; the problem was that I was limiting those promises to my incredibly skewed human interpretation of what they should mean. And I figured he needed my list to know what to do and when to do it. So foolish.
So what does all of this look like in real life? Well, obviously God is not our employee! But for me it has been a very gradual adjustment, but certainly not an insignificant one, to trust God's God-ness.
The most obvious evidence of this adjustment is in the way I pray. Many of my prayers have changed from "Lord, please do/give/help……" to "Lord, thank you for being fully in control of every millisecond of my life. Please help me to trust you completely in every detail." My prayers are more and more beginning to reflect the obvious reality that my requests are beyond my control and fully surrendered to Yahweh Jireh ("The Lord will provide"). I have done all that I believe He asked me to do and left the rest in His hands. And I sleep at night. Better than I have in years.
I'm not suggesting that we should never pray more specifically than that–not at all. But I know my heart and my inward bent toward wanting to control the outcome of my life. And this is where the discipline should make itself evident. Praying for specific situations out of a pure heart that is fully trusting God to do His will is not only healthy, but I think God delights in it. However, praying with a list of demands for which you are only willing to accept your desired response from God–not so much.
Do you really want Him to just do what you've asked Him to do, or do you want Him to be your Abba Father, Alpha and Omega, Bread of Life, King of kings, Great High Priest, Shepherd of our Souls, Comforter, Provider, Light of the World, Bridegroom, Immanuel, Messiah, Savior, Eternal Hope, Deliverer, Wonderful Counselor, Almighty God, Living Water, Prince of Peace, etc. and do so in whatever way He sees fit whether or not it matches your expectations? I choose the latter. Because he's not my employee!
And I hope He will continue to teach me how to truly make him the desire of my heart instead of just what He can do for me.